This little blog of mine is my space to capture memories and reflect on the ups and downs of life. Blogging has been a way of updating friends and family throughout our journey as a heart family, raising awareness and also capturing the everyday moments. Moments that became extra precious memories after losing my daughter Jessica unexpectedly in April. Sharing my thoughts and experiences through my blog is helping me on this journey as a bereaved parent but I also share them to help others. Being recognised for something that I put time, effort, heart and soul into means a lot. To see my blog on the list of finalists for a Brilliance in Blogging (BiBs) award in the Inspire category is an amazing feeling. A huge thank you to everyone who nominated me. If you would like to vote for me, you can do so here. Voting is open from Friday 7 September 2018 until 23:59 on Friday 21 September 2018.
It’s an honour to be among some amazing blogs in this category. All of us sharing our stories, sharing our journeys and hopefully helping others through our words. Blogging for me is incredibly cathartic. That’s a big part of why I write, but sharing those words online is also about raising awareness and trying to help other people on similar journeys feel less alone. Parenting a child with a complex heart condition can feel scary and lonely at times and bereavement throws you on a huge emotional rollercoaster. I often find myself searching for posts written by others in similar situations to help me navigate this journey and I hope that my words can help others in their turn.
Blogging has also been about capturing the ordinary; the little everyday moments. As Dr Seuss once said: “Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory.” I have captured so many moments of our family life through this blog; so many happy memories of our life with Jessica and to be able to look back on them so easily is a precious gift.
Jessica inspired me in so many ways. She was full of joy and had the sweetest of smiles, bringing sunshine to all who knew her. She lived life to the full and her half a heart overflowed with love for those around her. Each day was an adventure – even going for her heart surgery – her “sleepover” at the doctors, as she called it. She had such courage, such strength, such positivity. I am thankful to be her mummy. She taught me so very much and through her I learned to live in the moment and to find joy in the little things.
Back in 2016, I started on a daily gratitude challenge, inspired to do so by a friend. I loved it so much that I kept going and although it has been very hard at times to find gratitude since losing Jessica, it has helped me to keep looking for the little things to be thankful for. I continue to do so in honour of my little girl.
Having to live life without Jessica is incredibly hard. I miss her so very much. However much I want to be able to go back and have those moments with her again, I have no choice but to keep moving forward. To try to keep making happy memories with her little sister Sophie and baby Thomas whose recent arrival has brought us joy in amongst our grief. I’ll keep capturing those moments, those memories because they are just as precious.
It would be amazing to win an award for blogging and an honour to be a finalist, but whether I win or not, I am thankful for this little blog of mine and for the memories and moments captured in it.