It’s in the little moments that the reality of being a heart mum hits me most.
The little moments that catch me off-guard and bring tears to my eyes.
Seeing my daughter enjoying a ballet class.
Watching her play in the playground with her friends.
The way she reaches out to hold her little sister’s hand.
The ordinary, everyday moments.
These are the moments when I know how lucky I am.
When I realise just what a privilege it is to experience the everyday moments of parenthood.
When others imagine what being a heart mum is like, it is usually the big moments they think of.
The awful moment of handing your child over to the surgeon and walking away while praying desperately that you will hold your living child in your arms again.
The agonising wait while your child is in theatre.
The rollercoaster ride of the recovery in intensive care.
This is the journey that we have travelled.
This is the journey that is yet to come.
Sometimes the little moments are hard too.
The constant observation – always being alert to the little signs that your child might be struggling.
The anxiety that grips me in the run-up to a cardiac check-up.
The fear that always lurks at the back of my mind.
What does the road ahead hold for us?
How many of these precious everyday moments will be in our future?
I do not know the answers to these questions.
I can only hope and pray for the best.
God’s timing has been perfect so far.
He will give us the strength to travel the road ahead.
I must put my faith in the skilled hands of the surgeons, the doctors, the nurses.
I know how amazing they are.
They will do all they can to make her heart work as well as it can.
But I am scared.
Some days it seems I cling to hope and faith by the thinnest of threads.
Some days the little things overwhelm me.
I cannot do this journey alone.
I need the love, support and prayers of those around me.
It’s okay to crumble every now and then.
I do not have to be strong all the time.
Some days, I have to remind myself ‘it’s okay, God’s got this.’
Some days there is only one set of footprints in the sand.
This is the road that we must travel.
We will walk it as best we can.
But we never have to walk it alone.
There is love, there is faith and there is hope.
Today, I will focus on those little moments.
Knowing once again how lucky I am to have them.
The ordinary, everyday moments made precious by fear and uncertainty.