Reflections of a heart mummy: it’s all in the little moments

It’s in the little moments that the reality of being a heart mum hits me most.

The little moments that catch me off-guard and bring tears to my eyes.

Seeing my daughter enjoying a ballet class.

Watching her play in the playground with her friends.

The way she reaches out to hold her little sister’s hand.

The ordinary, everyday moments.

These are the moments when I know how lucky I am.

When I realise just what a privilege it is to experience the everyday moments of parenthood.

 

Me with Jessica and Sophie out for a Chinese meal on my birthday

 

When others imagine what being a heart mum is like, it is usually the big moments they think of.

The awful moment of handing your child over to the surgeon and walking away while praying desperately that you will hold your living child in your arms again.

The agonising wait while your child is in theatre.

The rollercoaster ride of the recovery in intensive care.

This is the journey that we have travelled.

This is the journey that is yet to come.

 

 

Sometimes the little moments are hard too.

The constant observation – always being alert to the little signs that your child might be struggling.

The anxiety that grips me in the run-up to a cardiac check-up.

The fear that always lurks at the back of my mind.

 

 

What does the road ahead hold for us?

How many of these precious everyday moments will be in our future?

 

 

I do not know the answers to these questions.

I can only hope and pray for the best.

God’s timing has been perfect so far.

He will give us the strength to travel the road ahead.

 

Jessica holding her doll on the roses

 

I must put my faith in the skilled hands of the surgeons, the doctors, the nurses.

I know how amazing they are.

They will do all they can to make her heart work as well as it can.

 

 

But I am scared.

Some days it seems I cling to hope and faith by the thinnest of threads.

Some days the little things overwhelm me.

I cannot do this journey alone.

I need the love, support and prayers of those around me.

It’s okay to crumble every now and then.

I do not have to be strong all the time.

Some days, I have to remind myself ‘it’s okay, God’s got this.’

Some days there is only one set of footprints in the sand.

 

 

This is the road that we must travel.

We will walk it as best we can.

But we never have to walk it alone.

There is love, there is faith and there is hope.

 

 

Today, I will focus on those little moments.

Knowing once again how lucky I am to have them.

The ordinary, everyday moments made precious by fear and uncertainty.

 

Sophie giving Jessica a hug in the spinner at the park

 

Hot Pink Wellingtons

28 thoughts on “Reflections of a heart mummy: it’s all in the little moments

  1. It’s the little moments that make life real, and I always think those are the ones that stay with you. That last photo of Jessica and Sophie is absolutely gorgeous, they’re clearly so close. Thanks for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove

  2. Oh this post squeezed my heart. I’m not a heart mum but my daughter has other issues and we have felt the anguish of handing her over to the surgeons and hoping that it will all be okay, and the regular check-ups, praying that this one will just be routine but knowing it could well be another ticket to the surgical bay.

    But yes – God HAS got this, and He knows what is round the corner. He has brought you this far and He will continue to walk with you every step of the way. #sharingthebloglove

    1. Thank you so much Lucy. Handing your child over to a surgeon, whatever the procedure, is such a hard thing to have to do. I hope that all will continue to be well with your daughter too x

  3. That last photo of your girls is adorable. It really is those little moments that we have to cherish, they are the moments that really show us the person they are. Enjoy your summer with your girls and sending you lots of love. Thank you for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove

    1. Thank you Laura. Those little moments are very precious ones. Hope you and your girls have a lovely summer too x

  4. This is so beautiful. We have these little moments everyday, which my husband misses and I make sure to tell him. What a reminder to relish and appreciate those little moments too. #SharingtheBlogLove

  5. Aww your girls are beautiful. Yes the little moments count, cherish each and every one. I can’t begin to imagine how much anguish you have gone through as a family. Big hugs x
    #SharingTheBLOGlove

    1. Thank you Helen. It’s certainly been a rollercoaster at times and there’s more to come but it does make me appreciate the little moments x

  6. Beautiful post. I believe the little moments really do matter. When I was struggling to bond with my adopted kids, I started to make note of the little things they did, it got me through the hard times and really helped the bonding process. Just love this post – keep on with those little magical moments! #sharingthebloglove

    1. Thank you. Making a note of the little things is such a good idea – it’s so easy to end up focusing on the challenges otherwise.

  7. Hi, It is indeed the little moments that are the most precious and become fond memories in years to come #sharingthebloglove

  8. I know I can’t relate totally to what you’ve been through but know we are very lucky to have the same hospital. I also know what it’s like in part to leave your child in their hands and worry. Know our thoughts and prayers are with you. #SharingtheBlogLove

    1. Thank you so much Helena. We have been very lucky with the hospital care we have had so far and I know that Jessica’s care is in good hands.

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