Last night I dreamed about Jessica. She was wearing a hand-knitted green and white cardigan that she’d had as a toddler, although in my dream she was the age she was when she died. She’d been chewing on her cardigan next to a button and had made it fray slightly.… View Post

A terrible freedom – life after the loss of …

A terrible freedom – life after the loss of a child with a disability

If you’d asked me to describe our daily life with Jessica, I would have said it was pretty normal. All the things that came with having a child with a complex heart condition were just part of our everyday life. We did them without really thinking about them and never… View Post

Grief and life after Jessica: Time

Grief and life after Jessica: Time

They say that time heals. Time doesn’t heal; it hurts. Time is a relentless tide. It takes me further away from life with Jessica. The turn of the calendar brings me pain. A new month is a month without her. A month with no memories to be made.    … View Post

Grief and life after Jessica: after the funeral

Grief and life after Jessica: after the funeral

Organising a funeral is similar to organising a wedding – only without being fun. There are flowers to organise, halls to book, catering to organise, service sheets to put together. On the day, there are so many people to try and talk to, so much to focus on and it… View Post

Grief and life after Jessica: the stormy sea

Grief and life after Jessica: the stormy sea

Since losing Jessica, our lives have changed forever. It feels as though we have been thrown into a boat, tossed on the waves of a stormy sea. Behind us is the island that was our happy complete family life. An island that we are forever exiled from. An island that… View Post

Me and Mine – April 2018

Me and Mine – April 2018

As with the Siblings project earlier this month, I’ve decided to share a Me and Mine post this month with the final photos of our family enjoying time together. This month started with us on holiday on the Isle of Wight. The WiFi was rubbish, the phone reception was poor… View Post