I’ve been told a few times since Jessica died that I need to have counselling. I’m sure the people who tell me this mean well, but it leaves me wondering why they think I need it so much. Is it because they feel like I’m not coping with my… View Post
This week has been a particularly emotional one as two big firsts have come together: the first of Jessica’s birthdays without her and Sophie’s first day at school. We’ve also come to the end of our first summer without Jessica which was also our first one with Thomas. So many… View Post
Darling Sophie, Today is your first day at school. A big step for you and one that you are ready to take. I know that you will take it in your stride and I am sure you will love your time at school. You are so confident and outgoing, as… View Post
Darling Jessica, Tomorrow is your seventh birthday. You should be getting excited about it, looking forward to your cards and presents, telling me what cake you want. But you’re not here. You are frozen forever in time. Forever six. I won’t get to see you celebrate another birthday, or… View Post
Grief is a funny thing. There are times when I feel like I am drowning in the stormy sea of grief and times when the waves calm and I find myself just floating along. I have been told that with the passing of time, the frequency of the storms will… View Post
Some days you feel so far away. I look for signs that you are still here with me somehow and there are none. Just emptiness. I long for you to visit me in my dreams but night after night goes by and I do not see you there. … View Post
So much of what I read about child bereavement focuses on grieving mothers. I read things like “there is no pain greater than that of a grieving mother” and while I understand why people write that, it also makes me cross. The pain of a grieving mother is often acknowledged… View Post
