I’ve been told a few times since Jessica died that I need to have counselling. I’m sure the people who tell me this mean well, but it leaves me wondering why they think I need it so much.   Is it because they feel like I’m not coping with my… View Post

Remembering Jessica: a special birthday picnic

Remembering Jessica: a special birthday picnic

Jessica’s birthday was always such a milestone moment. As well as being her birthday, it was also one of her heart days – the anniversary of her first open heart surgery. A day full of excitement, watching the joy on Jessica’s face as she opened her cards and presents and… View Post

Forever six

Forever six

Darling Jessica,   Tomorrow is your seventh birthday. You should be getting excited about it, looking forward to your cards and presents, telling me what cake you want. But you’re not here. You are frozen forever in time. Forever six. I won’t get to see you celebrate another birthday, or… View Post

Grieving dads matter too

Grieving dads matter too

So much of what I read about child bereavement focuses on grieving mothers. I read things like “there is no pain greater than that of a grieving mother” and while I understand why people write that, it also makes me cross. The pain of a grieving mother is often acknowledged… View Post

Grief and life after Jessica: How are you?

Grief and life after Jessica: How are you?

“How are you?” Such a natural question and so difficult to answer at times. I have my standard responses now. I’m ok. Surviving. Up and down. Taking it moment by moment. Getting through as best I can. Sometimes, all I can do in response to the question is just shrug.… View Post