Six months. Six months since the last time I cuddled my big girl; the last time I looked into her beautiful eyes. How can six months have passed by already, how did I manage to survive six months without her? And yet I have and will continue to do so.… View Post

Grief and life after Jessica: “No, I have …

Grief and life after Jessica: “No, I have three children.”

I had a conversation with an acquaintance recently, triggered by a discussion about whether I was planning any more children. The conversation went something like this:   Her: “Well, two children is enough.” Me: “Three.” Her: “Oh yes, I forgot about Jessica.” (pause) “Well, two really. Nice to have one… View Post

Grief and life after Jessica: The school run

Grief and life after Jessica: The school run

Here I am again – back to doing the school run. Dropping a little girl off at a reception classroom once more. How different it all is second time around. I’ve relaxed back into that familiar routine very quickly. I’m more confident, the faces on the school run are familiar… View Post

Remembering Jessica: a special birthday picnic

Remembering Jessica: a special birthday picnic

Jessica’s birthday was always such a milestone moment. As well as being her birthday, it was also one of her heart days – the anniversary of her first open heart surgery. A day full of excitement, watching the joy on Jessica’s face as she opened her cards and presents and… View Post

Forever six

Forever six

Darling Jessica,   Tomorrow is your seventh birthday. You should be getting excited about it, looking forward to your cards and presents, telling me what cake you want. But you’re not here. You are frozen forever in time. Forever six. I won’t get to see you celebrate another birthday, or… View Post