Grief is a funny thing. There are times when I feel like I am drowning in the stormy sea of grief and times when the waves calm and I find myself just floating along. I have been told that with the passing of time, the frequency of the storms will… View Post

Grieving dads matter too

Grieving dads matter too

So much of what I read about child bereavement focuses on grieving mothers. I read things like “there is no pain greater than that of a grieving mother” and while I understand why people write that, it also makes me cross. The pain of a grieving mother is often acknowledged… View Post

Grief and life after Jessica: How are you?

Grief and life after Jessica: How are you?

“How are you?” Such a natural question and so difficult to answer at times. I have my standard responses now. I’m ok. Surviving. Up and down. Taking it moment by moment. Getting through as best I can. Sometimes, all I can do in response to the question is just shrug.… View Post

Grief and life after Jessica: in dreams

Grief and life after Jessica: in dreams

Last night I dreamed about Jessica. She was wearing a hand-knitted green and white cardigan that she’d had as a toddler, although in my dream she was the age she was when she died. She’d been chewing on her cardigan next to a button and had made it fray slightly.… View Post

A terrible freedom – life after the loss of …

A terrible freedom – life after the loss of a child with a disability

If you’d asked me to describe our daily life with Jessica, I would have said it was pretty normal. All the things that came with having a child with a complex heart condition were just part of our everyday life. We did them without really thinking about them and never… View Post

Grief and life after Jessica: Time

Grief and life after Jessica: Time

They say that time heals. Time doesn’t heal; it hurts. Time is a relentless tide. It takes me further away from life with Jessica. The turn of the calendar brings me pain. A new month is a month without her. A month with no memories to be made.    … View Post