As expected, this week has been a stormy one on the grief front. With the memories of ‘this time last year’ becoming increasingly painful and the anniversary of Jessica’s death now just a couple of days away, my emotions have been very up and down. I knew this week would be a tough one. It’s been all about taking the storms as they come, letting the emotions come and being kind to myself.
The support and love from friends and family has helped a lot this week. We’ve had messages from friends, cards, flowers – little reminders that we are being held in the thoughts of others and that they are sending us love and strength for the coming days.
There have been little rainbows in the storm – the little moments which bring a smile. One of my friends made some crocheted hearts to help #givejoyforjessica and left them where others could find them. I had a message from a lady who had found one of them. She was planning to make her own heart to pass on and help spread more joy for Jessica. How lovely to know that the joy is being passed forward in that way.
I’ve been trying to find the balance between allowing myself the space I need to grieve this week, but also make the Easter holidays enjoyable for Sophie. So far, I think I’ve managed it. We had a couple of planned activities that could have been easily cancelled if needed, and we’ve had a little time out and about each day.
Things that have made me smile this week
- Thomas reaching out to stroke Jessica’s sculpture when we visited her forever bed.
- Seeing the ‘Jack has a heart operation’ and ‘Jessica has a heart operation’ books on the information stand at the Little Hearts Matter open day and catching up with heart family friends.
- Breaking up the journey home from the Little Hearts Matter open day with a walk around Charlecote Park.
- An afternoon at Chiltern Open Air Museum.
- Watching Sophie playing with the dolls in her dolls’ house.
- Making a rain gauge with Sophie.
- Fun up in the trees, climbing across the nets at Go Ape thanks to a day out with Halo Children’s Foundation.
- A walk around Denham Country Park following the Easter trail there.
- Watching Sophie having fun with a friend making a fairy picture and exploring Iver Environment Centre.
You’re always in my thoughts, but this weekend you will be more so. Sending you all lots of love xxx
Whilst grief never really leaves us, there are certain days or events that are so much harder aren’t there? I am so glad that you have had the support of your friends and family, that can make all the difference in getting through the day. The crocheted hearts were a wonderful idea. I am sure they will bring joy to anyone who finds them x #wotw
I’m so glad you have such a strong and supportive circle of people around you Louise, what an absolutely lovely thing your friend has done, so thoughtful. It looks like Sophie is enjoying her Easter holidays, you are doing an amazing job I know it must be so hard with the pain you are feeling every day. I will be thinking of Jessica this weekend, thinking about her lovely smile and how much joy she brought. Sending you love and strength x
I can’t imagine how you are feeling at the moment. I am so glad you have had lots of support.
How lovely of your friend to make the hearts. Such a nice way to spread some joy!
That photo of Thomas reaching out for Jessica’s sculpture is beautiful.
It looks like you have had a busy week with lots of fun days out.
I’ll be thinking of you and your family over the weekend x
I think you are doing amazing Louise, I’m sure Jessica would be so proud of you. She’d hate to see you sad and crying, even though it’s hard not to some times. I will be thinking of you all this weekend and giving lots of joy for Jessica. The storm will pass xx
Oh. Sophie’s fairy is lovely. It would be so easy not to keep moving and stay home. I’m sure Sophie and Thomas enjoy the outings and friends. You are fortunate to have good friends around you and supporting you. The photo of Thomas reaching out for Jessica’s wooden sculpture is beautiful. I wonder what he was thinking. Love the idea of the crochet hearts. A lovely thought and deed. Thinking of you all. #wotw
Louise you have all been in my thoughts all week, I cant imagine what you are gong through, Jessica was a special little girl who has made such a mark on the world. Sending you all the strength to get though the next week and those beyond that. I am so glad you are able to have a few moments of light with Sophie and Thomas through the darkness, it show what amazing parents you are and have always been x
Hugs xx
I’m so glad you’ve found things to smile about, this week, just remember to allow yourself to grieve xx
So glad you have managed some smiles this week despite the heart ache.
Love the flower pot man picture.
The crochet hearts are a lovely gesture from your friend.
Sending love and hugs