Darling Jessica, Today is your eighth birthday. Eight sounds so grown up. I wonder what you would have been like now. I could imagine you on your seventh birthday but I can’t quite imagine what you would be like if you were still here now. I know that you would be excited about your… Read More
Three years ago, we travelled from Land’s End to John O’Groats by bus and train to raise money for Little Hearts Matter. Four days on trains with Jessica and Sophie was quite an adventure and we enjoyed our travels. This summer we are repeating that journey but in reverse – travelling from John O’Groats to… Read More
It’s ten years today since I married my wonderful husband. It’s funny, it doesn’t seem possible that it can be ten years already and yet in many ways it feels like we’ve been married longer than that too. Our journey through married life has been quite different to how I imagined it might be. We’ve… Read More
I had a conversation with an acquaintance the other day which went something like this: Them: “You look miserable today, what’s the matter?” Me: “Jessica’s dead.” Them: “Oh, is that all?” Me: Them: Me: “Yes, that’s all.” That’s all. Just a trivial thing really. Living with the suffocating weight of grief. Enduring life… Read More
As expected, this week has been a stormy one on the grief front. With the memories of ‘this time last year’ becoming increasingly painful and the anniversary of Jessica’s death now just a couple of days away, my emotions have been very up and down. I knew this week would be a tough one. It’s… Read More
“How do I survive this?!” It’s a question I’ve screamed out many times over the past year. In those moments when I am blinded by tears, overwhelmed and broken by the pain of life without Jessica, I wonder how on earth I can possibly keep going on. And yet I do. Here I am, almost… Read More
In those first awful moments after Jessica died, I remember sitting with her, stroking her hair and asking her to send me little signs to let me know that she was still with me in some way. It may be just wishful thinking on my part, but I am sure that I see robins, white… Read More
