Child loss

Jessica on Daddy's back, giving him a big cuddle

Grieving dads matter too

So much of what I read about child bereavement focuses on grieving mothers. I read things like “there is no pain greater than that of a grieving mother” and while…

Me in silhouette looking out of the window

Grief and life after Jessica: How are you?

“How are you?” Such a natural question and so difficult to answer at times. I have my standard responses now. I’m ok. Surviving. Up and down. Taking it moment by…

Sophie and Jessica asleep in a big bed together

Grief and life after Jessica: in dreams

Last night I dreamed about Jessica. She was wearing a hand-knitted green and white cardigan that she’d had as a toddler, although in my dream she was the age she…

Sophie pushing Jessica in her buggy

A terrible freedom – life after the loss of a child with a disability

If you’d asked me to describe our daily life with Jessica, I would have said it was pretty normal. All the things that came with having a child with a…

A clock showing a time of 8:25

Grief and life after Jessica: Time

They say that time heals. Time doesn’t heal; it hurts. Time is a relentless tide. It takes me further away from life with Jessica. The turn of the calendar brings…

Helping Youngsters Cope With Sibling Loss

One of the challenges that we face as bereaved parents is helping our younger daughter through her own grief journey after losing her big sister. Sometimes Sophie will talk to…

Jessica asleep in her bed

Grief and life after Jessica: the loneliness of 3am

Once upon a time, I sat on the floor, exhausted and sleep-deprived, waiting for my girls to settle down to sleep and wrote a post about the loneliness of 3AM.…

The dragonfly in Jessica's garden at preschool

Grief and life after Jessica: after the funeral

Organising a funeral is similar to organising a wedding – only without being fun. There are flowers to organise, halls to book, catering to organise, service sheets to put together.…

A drawing of me, hubby and Sophie in a boat tossed about on a stormy sea

Grief and life after Jessica: the stormy sea

Since losing Jessica, our lives have changed forever. It feels as though we have been thrown into a boat, tossed on the waves of a stormy sea. Behind us is…

A butterfly sitting on a yellow flower

Grief and life after Jessica: the first few days

I once described life on PICU as being a rollercoaster of emotions and it was. It was a bumpy ride next to the rollercoaster we have been riding this week.…