Siblings – August 2020

Summer days are for family time outdoors together. Making the most of the longer days, the sunshine and warm weather. Going out on adventures together; watching the children having fun together. Days full of laughter; full of play; full of fun. Summer days are bittersweet and filled with memories. As I watch Sophie and Thomas together, I’m always reminded of those beautiful summer days watching my girls having fun together. Underneath the laughter and the smiles, my heart is breaking as I watch two little ones having fun together; always wishing that it could be three.


Sophie, Thomas and Jessica playing in the sand together - "Siblings - August 2020"

And so, this month’s siblings photos are a little different. I might not be able to experience summer days with my little trio, but thanks to Photoshop I can get a glimpse of what they might have been like. Three children having fun playing in the sand together. Three children splashing in the pool. Thomas walking with a big sister either side of him. Moments that I see in my mind’s eye, but sadly can never have in reality.


Jessica, Thomas and Sophie in the paddling pool together


Sophie, Thomas and Jessica walking in front of me holding hands


Summer with three; months of lockdown with three – what would it have been like? My daydreams are all rose-tinted ones – three children laughing together, playing together. Three children who all clearly adore each other. And no doubt there would have been moments like this, but there would have also been moments when they bickered and made me want to pull my hair out. Life wouldn’t have been perfect by any means. But it would have felt complete.


Sophie and Thomas playing with Duplo in the tuff tray with Jessica standing behind them looking down


I’ll never know what life with my three children together would have really been like. We’ll never have a summer where the three of them play in the sunshine together. But Jessica is always there with us. I see her gentleness in the way that Sophie helps look after Thomas. I hear her giggle in their laughter; hear her voice echoed sometimes in the way Thomas says things. She is part of them both, part of us, always there and always will be.


Jessica, Thomas and Sophie splashing barefoot in a muddy puddle


This month’s photos: the moments that I wish could be vs life in reality.


Thomas and Sophie at Jessica's forever bed


Thomas (2 years 0 months)

  • Had a lovely birthday and loved his Numberblocks cakes and getting new toys with numbers on.
  • Loves pointing out different shapes when he spots them and can recognise triangles, squares, rectangles, circles, stars and hearts.
  • Loves playing with the magnetic letters and Scrabble tiles on the fridge. He’s more interested in the numbers on the Scrabble tiles than the letters!
  • Likes to climb things, especially my spinning office chair, and tries to do headstands on the back on the sofa.


Sophie (6 years 9 months)

  • Enjoyed taking part in a virtual display with Girls’ Brigade. She sang ‘Lonely Goatherd’ for the talent show segment and joined in with some of the other Explorers and one of the Anchor boys in a video montage singing ‘Our God is a Great Big God’.
  • Has been enjoying being able to do socially-distanced ballet classes outside.
  • Had fun picking blackberries and plums in Grandma and Grandad’s garden and helping make some blackberry tarts.
  • Loves the moments of ‘Mummy-Sophie’ time when Thomas is napping, whether we can get out for a walk together, do crafts or just snuggle up together in one of the big chairs in the garden.


Jessica (forever 6 years 7 months)

  • It was lovely to have a couple of friends share some memories and photos of Jessica recently after my blog post expressing my fear that she will be forgotten.
  • Sophie likes to chat to Jessica when we visit her forever bed. I love the way that she tells her sister about all the things she’s been doing. Thomas always likes to give the wooden carving of Jessica a cuddle too.


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