October is one of hubby’s busiest months for events and family moments can be few and far between. I am used to flying solo although it can feel very lonely at times. I’ve learned though to make the most of the family moments when I can get them in the busy times. It also means that I have to be a little more organised when it comes to taking our family photo for October!
October this year has been a very emotional month, with a significant milestone in the middle of it. Six months have now passed since Jessica died. The half-year point was a very tough one for us. Living without Jessica is so very hard. Yes, we have moments of happiness and we are able to enjoy family life but that sense of incompleteness; that ache for our biggest girl who should be with us, is always there. Nothing feels quite right without her, but we try to make fun memories with Sophie and Thomas as much as we can.
It seemed appropriate that the Little Hearts Matter memorial walk at the National Memorial Arboretum was exactly six months to the day of Jessica’s last day on this earth. We spent the day with other bereaved families, talking about our children and remembering them. Sophie decorated some paper hearts to hang in the Little Hearts Matter tree and planted some bulbs around the bench. It was a day that was focused on remembering Jessica. Not that we need a day to focus on that – we think of her constantly! But it was nice to have a special day to meet with other parents who understand our journey and to remember all our angels together.
Sophie celebrated her fifth birthday at the end of October. Hubby was away working but we got to chat to him over Facetime. Sophie enjoyed a pizza party with her friends and we had family visiting in the afternoon. It was another emotional day – that first birthday without Jessica there to celebrate with her. She did have a birthday card from her big sister though. I found the card that Jessica wrote for Sophie last year and put it with the others.
After spending most of the month flying solo, it will be a relief to have hubby home again later today. Hopefully we will be able to enjoy a little more family time next month!