Friday Focus 05/04/19 – Little signs

In those first awful moments after Jessica died, I remember sitting with her, stroking her hair and asking her to send me little signs to let me know that she was still with me in some way. It may be just wishful thinking on my part, but I am sure that I see robins, white feathers and dragonflies much more now than I did before. The dragonfly that settled for a moment on Sophie’s hat at the Little Hearts Matter memorial service; the robin that perched on hubby’s knee at the Eden Project. I like to think that they are little signs reminding us that Jessica hasn’t really left us even though she is no longer physically here.

 

The word 'signs' with a forget-me-not over the 'I', a little robin, butterfly and dragonfly

Last Saturday, I managed to find time to weed my rose garden for the first time this year. As I cleared the weeds around the Pretty Jessica roses and the Sophy’s Rose, I spotted a little patch of forget-me-nots.  I don’t think I’ve seen forget-me-nots in the garden before. It felt like a little Mother’s Day gift from Jessica.

 

A patch of forget-me-nots in the garden

 

Seeing white feathers nestled in amongst the blossom in Grandma’s garden also made me smile. Jessica always loved Grandma’s garden, especially when the trees were covered with blossom.

 

A white feather nestled amongst pink blossom

 

It’s been another tough week. My first Mother’s Day without Jessica was a very emotional one. We went to visit Jessica’s forever bed and took some of the daffodils that had been handed out at church that morning. The memories of this time last year are very bittersweet ones. These moments are the ones that I anticipated would be difficult though.

 

Sometimes though, grief comes up and hits you in the face without any warning. I had a moment on the school run this week when I heard a child crying. It sounded so much like Jessica. As hard as it was though, it was also nice to be able to remember once more what Jessica sounded like when she cried. It’s a sound that I struggle to remember and not being able to remember things that were unique to Jessica hurts.

 

We’re now just over a week away from the first anniversary of Jessica’s death. We’re planning on marking the day by encouraging people to #givejoyforjessica. Jessica was such a little joy carrier. It seems appropriate to try and share some smiles in her honour.

 

Jessica and Sophie sitting and splashing in a tuff tray full of water

 

Things that have made me smile this week

  • Thomas receiving a certificate at Tiny Talk for being able to do three signs.

 

Thomas with his 'three signs' certificate from Tiny Talk

 

  • Going out for afternoon tea with Grandma.

 

  • Buying sun hats and sunglasses for Thomas.

 

Sophie sitting next to Thomas, who is wearing sunglasses

 

  • Sophie being fascinated by the cheeky little mouse that was enjoying Grandma’s supply of bird food.

 

The cheeky mouse in Grandma's bird food

 

  • Visiting the new community library.

 

  • Helping Sophie to decorate her Easter bonnet.

 

Sophie decorating her Easter bonnet

 

  • Sleepy snuggles with Thomas.

9 thoughts on “Friday Focus 05/04/19 – Little signs

  1. It’s lovely that Jessica is sending you little signs. It must be such a difficult time for you, both mother’s day and the anniversary of Jessica’s death in such quick succession. I am thinking of you both and I’ve put a note in my diary to take part in your lovely idea to #givejoyforJessica. Those sunglasses look super cute on Thomas!
    Nat.x

  2. Beautiful signs too. I always think nature has a way of connecting us when we need it most. I hope you felt it on Mothers Day with the flowers appearing. Forget me nots seems such a lovely confirmation. I’m sure Jessica had a hand in it. Sophie’s Easter bonnet looks a lot of fun and Thomas appears to be reading his certificate very carefully. Hugs to all. #wotw

  3. These little signs must be so comforting to you, I truly believe that those that have past send us little reminders that they are still with us even if only in spirit. Sophie and Thomas look so happy in their photo’s this week, it looks like you have been having lots of fun in preparation for Easter. Thinking of you all x

  4. I love the little signs, it must help a little to know there will always be signs for you. I’ll be thinking of you all and I’ll give joy for Jessica xx
    I love the photo of Sophie and Thomas in his new sunglasses. Well done Thomas on his certificate and to Sophie for her lovely Easter Hat.
    Thanks for linking up to #Wotw
    Sending love always xx

  5. The robin and the dragonfly really do seem like signs from Jessica.
    Well done to Thomas on his signing!
    Thinking of you over the next few very tough days. I hope Jessica is able to spread lots of joy on 14th April.

  6. I totally believe in signs, you take the joy from them, knowing she is with you! I love that little bonnet, although, I’m not going to lie, I’m glad I don’t have to make them anymore, now mine are older! x

  7. All of those signs must be such a comfort. I am glad you are seeing them. It sounds like a really tough week. Sending a big hug. It must have been so hard hearing a child which sounded like Jessica. I am sure on the 14th Jessica’s name will be mentioned lots!
    Lovely photos! What a clever boy Thomas is getting a certificate.

  8. I am sure that your Jessica is a little angel, sending you signs to let you know she is watching over your family. I will be sending prayers your way this week. Your little guy in his sunglasses is just adorable! I can imagine he gives you a lot of joy.

  9. Ah Louise my heart goes out to all of you, day to day must be so hard but this week and next but be a different level altogether, however I am sure those signs are Jessica reaching out to guide you through it, sending love to you all x

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