Siblings – May 2019

It is lovely to see that how that sibling bond between Sophie and Thomas grows and develops. The way his little eyes light up when she talks to him; the way he smiles at her. Seeing how proud she is of him; how she cheers him on whenever he does something new for the first time. Such a beautiful bond. Seeing them interact together both fills my heart and breaks it. I love the bond that Sophie and Thomas share and the way it reminds me of the bond between Jessica and Sophie when they were both very little, but there is always that empty space there where the third member of the trio should be. The wondering and the “what if’s” and knowing that Jessica would have adored this little brother too.


Thomas in a Harry Potter sleepsuit and Sophie in a princess dress holding a picture of Jessica in a princess dress - "Siblings - May 2019"


I can picture her so clearly sometimes. I imagine her telling Sophie how to hold Thomas, encouraging her to be a little more gentle at times. I can hear her little voice echoing me “Sophie, he is not a dolly!” Oh, yes, she would have been a little mother hen, my little Jessica. She would have been adoring and gentle and a little bit bossy.


Sophie is a wonderful big sister in her own right. Jessica’s legacy to her has been to model what a big sister should be. The love that Jessica gave to her is the love that she passes on to Thomas. She is a very loving big sister – a little over-enthusiastic at times, but that is the nature of my little whirlwind. She likes to pick Thomas up, holding him up so he is standing, trying to dance with him. I love the way she helps to entertain him and how much he loves having her play with him. To see them begin to play together is a beautiful thing.


We were talking about Jessica the other day and sharing our memories. I love to hear Sophie talk about Jessica; to know that she still remembers the things that she and Jessica did together. She is the bridge between her siblings – the one who knows and loves them both. She will help ensure that Thomas knows about his biggest sister and how much she loved him before he was born. I am grateful that I can truly say that Jessica did love her youngest sibling. She might not have known he was Thomas – but she was so very excited about baby Peanut and that love was there from the minute she knew she was going to be a big sister once more.


A picture of Jessica wearing a princess dress; Thomas in a Harry Potter sleepsuit; Sophie in a princess dress


Thomas (0 years 9 months)

  • Now has four teeth (two at the top and two at the bottom).
  • Has started signing ‘more’ and is clapping his hands more often.
  • Is really on the move now. He isn’t yet crawling but manages to roll and wriggle himself to where he wants to be.
  • Can now sit quite well without being supported.


Thomas in a Harry Potter sleepsuit and Sophie in a princess dress holding a picture of Jessica in a princess dress


Sophie (5 years 6 months)

  • Enjoyed all of my 40th birthday celebrations – especially the fancy dress party where she got to see lots of her aunties, uncles and cousins. She had a wonderful time on the dance floor – especially when she joined in with the moves for the YMCA!
  • Received an award of the week at school for keeping her work neat and tidy.
  • Enjoyed taking part in her Girls’ Brigade sports day.
  • Amazed me at my birthday barbecue by how strong she is. She helped tidy up afterwards and was helping Daddy lift trugs full of full drinks cans into his van.


Thomas in a Harry Potter sleepsuit and Sophie in a princess dress holding a picture of Jessica in a princess dress


Jessica (forever 6 years 7 months)

  • Visited me in my dreams the weekend after my birthday. I had a lovely snuggle with her and Sophie sitting on my lap together.
  • I had a lovely surprise present on my birthday when I received a beautiful wooden sculpture of Jessica that is almost identical to the one at her forever bed.


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