#365daysofgratitude 2019 – Weeks 18 and 19

Since 2016, I have taken part in a daily gratitude challenge, sharing a photo of one thing I am thankful for each day on Instagram. There have been days when finding little things to be grateful for has been very easy to do and others when it has been incredibly hard. Life as a bereaved parent is quite a rollercoaster at times. There have been many moments when I don’t feel grateful for anything at all – just broken and bruised. However, looking for those little moments has helped me even on the darkest of days. Hard though it may be at times, I have always managed to find something to be thankful for.

 

My eldest daughter Jessica was an inspiration to me throughout her short life. She had so much strength and such a wonderful zest for life. Her godmother described her once as a “joy carrier” and it was the perfect description for her. She was a little ray of sunshine, full of smiles and gave joy to all who knew her. I am, and will always be, grateful to be her mummy. She taught me to enjoy the little moments and to make the most of everyday because tomorrow is never promised. I continue with this challenge in honour of my beautiful brave girl.

 

If you would like to join me in a daily gratitude challenge for 2019, do feel free to use the hashtag #LHBL365daysofgratitude2019 on Instagram so I can find your posts there.

 

My mum, aunt, me, Sophie and Thomas; my mum's cheese tart; Sophie and Thomas in matching orange T-shirts and navy blue shorts; Thomas sitting in the travel booster seat; a smiley Thomas showing his new top tooth; Thomas on the floor holding his feet; my brothers and sisters in fancy dress at my birthday party - "'365daysofgratitude - Week 18"

 

Day 118 – I am grateful for a wonderful afternoon visiting my lovely Auntie Kathy and getting to see some of my cousins too. Love being part of such a big family.

Day 119 – I am grateful for my mum’s fab cooking. Loved cheese tart as a child and haven’t had it in years. Must try making it myself some time!

Day 120 – I am grateful to have found matching outfits for Sophie and Thomas. Always loved dressing my girls in matching clothes and have so missed being able to do this.

Day 121 – I am grateful for travel booster seats.

Day 122 – I am grateful for adorable toothy little smiles.

Day 123 – I am grateful that Thomas enjoyed having space to roll about at church while waiting for Sophie to come out of Girls’ Brigade.

Day 124 – I am grateful for getting to see all my brothers and sisters and celebrating with my twin and her best friend at our joint 40th birthday party. It’s the first time that all of us have been together in nearly ten years. Love my family so much.

 

Sophie feeding the ducks; me with my friend Nick; A sleeping hubby and Thomas; Sophie with her umbrella; a wooden sculpture of Jessica surrounded by 40th birthday cards; the Girls Brigade paper doll that Jessica made; Sophie ready to start the sack race - "#365daysofgratitude 2019 - Week 19"

 

Day 125 – I am grateful for a lovely walk around the Heath, stopping to feed the swans and ducks along the way.

Day 126 – I am grateful for being able to celebrate my friend (and other birthday twin) Nick’s 40th birthday with her – what a lovely way to end the weekend.

Day 127 – I am grateful that hubby got home at a reasonable time this evening. To say it’s been a tough day is an understatement. After a weekend of celebrations and socialising, it perhaps isn’t too surprising that today has seen me crashing so low. Grief has hit incredibly hard today and the longing for Jessica has felt unbearable. But having hubby home to help with bedtime made the evening a little easier at least.

Day 128 – I am grateful for umbrellas and a short school run.

Day 129 – I am grateful for my wonderful birthday present from my hubby. He knows the only thing I would really want for my birthday is Jessica and so he had another sculpture of her made as a surprise for me. Such a precious gift.

Day 130 – I am grateful for Girls’ Brigade and the friendships made through it. Not just for Sophie but for myself too. Love the Friday night chats. This little figure was made by Jessica as part of GB125 a couple of years ago. It came down from the display board this evening and will be treasured with the other artwork that I still have of Jessica’s.

Day 131 – I am grateful that Sophie enjoyed taking part in her Girls’ Brigade sports day.

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