Now you are five

Darling Jessica

Yesterday you started school for the first time and today we are celebrating your fifth birthday.  Can it really be five years since I held you in my arms for the first time and felt such a huge rush of joy that you were here?  Somehow those five years seem to have flown by and yet at the same time, the time before your arrival seems a distant memory.  From the moment I found out I was expecting you, you have filled my world so completely that I cannot properly remember life before you.  You and Sophie are my world and being your Mummy gives me more joy than I could describe.

As well as being your birthday today is also your heart day.  It is five years since you had your very first open-heart surgery at just eight hours old.  Back then we lived from moment to moment, unable to look ahead even to the next day.  To be five years on from those days and to see you doing so well, living life to the full and being excited about starting school is a huge blessing.  We are so incredibly thankful for everything that has got you to where you are today – the surgeons, doctors, nurses and the love, prayers and support of friends and family.

What a joy it was to see your excitement at starting school yesterday.  It might have been an emotional moment for Mummy – letting you go and accepting that you will never be as completely mine as you have been until now – but it was a moment that I was immensely thankful to have.  I am confident that you are in safe hands at your new school. Your teacher is lovely and I know that everyone is aware of your special heart and what to look out for.  I am confident too that they will see the wonderful little girl you are – the person you are – before your heart condition.  You might be a little heart warrior, but you are a beautiful little Jessica first and foremost.

You are so excited about having a birthday at school with all your friends. We’ve had your birthday party already – you declared it to be “the best birthday party ever” before the guests had even arrived! I know you will be tired today after school. We will just have a quiet birthday tea at home and open the presents that you didn’t have time to open before school.  There’ll be time to play and just enjoy your special day before bedtime arrives.  As always, we will have lots of cuddles and kisses at bedtime, and as you settle down to sleep, I will thank God once again for another day with you.

My little joy-carrier, you have filled my world with sunshine over these last five years.  They may have been challenging ones with all your hospital admissions and surgeries, but I would relive all the difficult times over and over again for the joy at seeing your smile and hearing your laugh.  Darling girl, I hope you will always fill my world with sunshine.  I love you so very much.  Happy birthday beautiful Jessica and hope this year of being five will be filled with fun and laughter.

Love you millions and billions

Mummy xxxxxx