January has felt like a very long month. Lockdown restrictions, broken sleep and the joys of juggling home-schooling, work and other commitments have been a struggle along with the ups and downs that are part of living with grief. We’re not able to get outside as much as we like which I think also hasn’t helped. Like everyone else though, we’re just riding the storm as best we can and looking forward to when life can return to some level of normality once again.
Last weekend’s snow helped ease the monotony of lockdown life though. It was lovely to see the joy on Thomas’s face as he stood out in the garden with the snow falling around him. Last time it snowed enough to settle, he was a baby, so this is really the first time he’s been able to enjoy the snow. It was a good time to capture our family photo together – out in the garden with Sophie’s snowman.
After we took our family photo, Sophie decided to recreate our family in snow. I love the way she always includes Jessica in things like this. Our little snow family is a complete one. Sophie was very sad when these snowmen started to melt though. I do wonder if Jessica being part of that snow family added to that sadness. It’s another reminder that moments pass and things that were special become memories. And sadly Jessica is one of those things – that there are just the beautiful memories she has of her sister to hold on to.
I’m not sure there are many memories from this month that I’ll want to particularly hold on to – although there have of course been happy moments and little milestones from Thomas, such as moving from a cot into a toddler bed. I’m hoping February will be a better month, although right now, it’s hard to look ahead more than a few days at a time and the future feels very uncertain still. For now, we’ll just keep taking each day as it comes.