Me and Mine – February 2021

If January was a month of struggling with lockdown restrictions, February was a month where we settled into them; finding ways to make lockdown life more bearable. We shifted our home-learning routine around; moving the more stressful subjects to the morning. A little change that made a big difference, as did having Wednesday and Friday afternoons as screen-free afternoons focusing on the craft project that Sophie had been set. Sitting down and doing crafts together is something we both enjoy and she loved making her rainforest in a shoebox. Although the changes did make life easier, it was still a relief to get to half-term and be able to enjoy a week off from home-learning!


My husband (holding Thomas), me and Sophie (holding Jessica's picture) out in the garden - "Me and Mine - February 2021"


It has been strange not venturing out during half-term though. Most of our outdoor time has been spent in the garden, with occasional scooter rides around the estates or a walk to a nearby green space. The children seem happy on the whole but we all miss not being able see family and friends.


Hubby and I have got a little better at providing each other with opportunities for time out. Each of us is trying to make space to allow the other to get out for a walk or a run each day without the children in tow. It’s been good just to have that little break. Another little change that has made a big difference.


My husband (holding Thomas), me and Sophie (holding Jessica's picture) out in the garden


Having a little more sunshine over the last week has helped too. Being outside in the garden is much more appealing when the weather is nice. The spring flowers are starting to bloom in the garden (as best they can with a toddler constantly trying to trample them anyway!) Spring is on the way. Of course, the arrival of spring these days brings very mixed feelings as Jessica died in spring. The coming weeks are likely to be a bit of a rollercoaster ride on the grief front as we approach the third anniversary of her death.


Jessica visited me in my dreams recently. In my dream, she was the age that she would be now (9). She looked a little more grown-up, but she was still very much the Jessica we knew and loved. In my dream, I saw her playing with Sophie and Thomas, saw her little face light up as she got the giggles and when she hugged me, I really tried to savour the feeling of her arms around me, knowing just how precious that moment was. That was when I realised how much taller she had grown – the top of her head was just under my chin. Looking at Sophie yesterday, I realised that she would be about a head taller than her sister.


Dream visits are so very special. We don’t get them very often but they always bring so much comfort. It feels very much like being given a short period of time with Jessica once again. This recent one also felt like a little opportunity to see Jessica growing up with her siblings. What a precious gift that is.


My husband (holding Thomas), me and Sophie (holding Jessica's picture) out in the garden


8 thoughts on “Me and Mine – February 2021

  1. What a lovely photo of you all. I totally agree that seeing the sunshine makes the day that little more cheerful. And the time alone just for a walk or to read a book is very welcomed in times like these.
    I can’t believe that 3 years have passed since your beautiful Jessica passed over.
    How lovely that she visited you in your dreams. It must have been a huge comfort that you got to see her little face once again.
    Sending love, strength and the biggest hug to you all as you remember Jessica’s anniversary. xx

    1. It was so lovely to have that dream-visit from Jessica. It gives me so much comfort when I get that time with her.

  2. It sounds like February was a better month. Getting into the swing of home schooling must have helped.
    Good on you and your husband making time so you can each do your own thing.
    The dreams of Jessica sound lovely.
    Fab photos x

    1. Thanks Kim. Switching our home schooling routine helped so much. It was so wonderful to dream of Jessica again.

  3. Beautiful photos of you all. I think you are right about February being the month of making the most of the lockdown. It was strange not going out over half term. Even for a change of scene. Your dream sounds like a great comfort. A beautiful experience. Hope March is good to you all. #mmbc

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.