This week has seen echoes of the memories of our last Easter with Jessica six years ago. Easter Sunday this year was just a day earlier than Easter Sunday 2018 and it feels like there have been a lot of similarities this year – from the weather over the Easter weekend, some of the activities we’ve been doing this week, and the fact that Thomas is in Year 1, just as Jessica was six years ago.
I took Thomas swimming while Sophie had her swimming lesson on Monday. He can sometimes get cold quite quickly if the pool water is on the cool side, much like Jessica. This time he was too cold and asking to get out after 10 minutes – just like Jessica on the last time we took her swimming almost exactly six years earlier to the day. Jessica’s wetsuit is still in our swimming bag, so I put it on Thomas so he could get back in the pool. It’s almost certainly the first time it’s been worn since Jessica’s last time at the pool. Going swimming was the highlight of that Easter holiday for her. She would have been happy that her wetsuit meant that her brother could swim for longer, but it did make me feel emotional.
I had an attack of vertigo on Tuesday when I was due to play the piano for a funeral at church. Last time I played the piano for a funeral at church I also had vertigo. Another echo. I think it was caused by the tail end of a cold moving into my ears but there possibly is some pyschological effect at play too given the memories of Jessica’s funeral which always resurface at times like this. Thankfully I was still able to play, and the vertigo has mostly gone now, other than for a few minutes first thing in the morning.
Jessica’s anniversary is now just over a week away. It will fall on the last weekend of the Easter break, as was the case six years ago. We’ll mark the day, as we done for the last few years, by echoing the joy that she radiated throughout her life, focusing on giving joy in her memory.
What I’ve been grateful for this week:
- Day 89 – I am grateful for fun moments enjoying time together as a family.
- Day 90 – I am grateful for sunshine.
- Day 91 – I am grateful for an Easter egg hunt in the garden.
- Day 92 – I am grateful for the joy of getting to bottle feed some lambs.
- Day 93 – I am grateful for the honour of playing the piano for the thanksgiving service of a lovely lady and also thankful that I don’t need to move my head much while playing as I’m struggling with vertigo today.
- Day 94 – I am grateful that the vertigo has now eased off and I was able to enjoy some time outdoors.
- Day 95 – I am grateful for fun at the fair.
Other things that have made me smile this week:
- Performing in a short Passion play in the town centre on Good Friday. I played Mary Magdalene this year. Thankfully the weather stayed dry during the performance as we were outside!
- Painting number rocks for Thomas.
- Eating Easter chocolate!
Jessica was sooo excited about going swimming that day – it was what she told me about when I asked what her favourite activity had been. Her face lit right up with the joy of it. Such a precious memory of our morning out at Beading xx
Sending love and hugs. All of those echoes must be really triggering. That is lovely that Thomas could swim for longer thanks to Jessica’s wetsuit.
What lovely photos! I am glad the vertigo has eased off and you could get outside.
Loving the number rocks, such a good idea. Glad Thomas was able to use Jessica’s wetsuit. Sounds like you’re over the vertigo – not nice to have that.
What precious memories of your Jessica! you will always have those when certain dates or certain activities come around. I had a full breakdown with a flood of tears in church yesterday! It took me by surprise but they were singing a song which we sang at my son’s funeral and I just couldn’t keep back the tears no matter how I tried. We must give ourselves the grace to deal with this. Thankfully Jessica’s wet suit helped Thomas out. I hope you are fully vertigo-free and able to enjoy some of the lovely sunshine we have been promised.
How lovely that Thomas could use Jessica’s wetsuit to keep warm. I’m sure she’d have got a kick out of seeing her baby brother use it. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if your vertigo and playing at a funeral are linked. I hope you are feeling much better now. Your painted rocks are fabulous. I love the idea of feeding the baby lambs. We have some in the fields around us. I love watching them gambling around together. Hope you have a good week.
I hope this week treats you kindly. So lovely that Thomas could use Jessica’s wet suit though, I am sure she is smiling down at him using it
You know we all love Jessica and she’ll always be remembered. It’s hard when the echoes appear but also nice to have happy memories as well as sad. I’ll be thinking of you over these next few weeks.
I really love your number stones and I’m glad the vertigo got better for you.
How lovely Thomas was able to use Jessica’s wet suit to enable him to swim longer, the echos though must be really hard to deal with. Those numbered rocks look a fab idea.