At the start of 2016, inspired by a friend, I started a daily gratitude challenge – posting one thing that I was thankful for each day on Instagram. I enjoyed it so much that when I reached the end of that year, I carried on and have kept going ever since. Finding one little thing to be thankful for each day has now become part of my daily routine and I’ve loved seeing friends joining in along the way too.
Finding little things to be grateful for isn’t always easy, especially when living through scary and uncertain times. I have found though that trying to find something, however small and trivial, to be grateful for has helped me through some of the hardest days of my life.
My eldest daughter Jessica, who died in April 2018, was an inspiration to me throughout her short life. She had so much strength and such a wonderful zest for life. Her godmother described her once as a “joy carrier” and it was the perfect description for her. She was a little ray of sunshine, full of smiles and gave joy to all who knew her. I am, and will always be, grateful to be her mummy. She taught me to enjoy the little moments and to make the most of everyday because tomorrow is never promised. And even though having to live life without Jessica is by far the hardest thing I have ever had to do, I will continue to look for those little things to be thankful for, and keep going with this challenge in honour of my beautiful brave girl.
Here are my grateful moments from the past week:
Day 103 – I am grateful to have been able to share Easter worship with my church family this morning from my piano thanks to hubby’s brilliant video streaming skills. So lovely to feel that sense of community as a church again. Thank you to everyone who joined me. Happy Easter all!
Day 104 – I am grateful to have so many photos and videos and wonderful memories of my beautiful big girl. They will never be enough but I am thankful to have them. Today has been an emotional day as we head into the second anniversary of Jessica’s death. I love and miss this little girl more than words could say but I will always be thankful that I got to have her for six and a half wonderful years and no-one can take those beautiful memories away.
Day 105 – I am grateful that Jessica’s legacy is love. We have felt so surrounded by love all day today and it has meant a lot to see others sharing joy in memory of our beautiful big girl. Thank you all for holding her – and us – in your hearts today. Thank you too to GreenAcres Chiltern for putting these beautiful flowers in Jessica’s vase at her forever bed today and sending us photos when we have been unable to visit her.
Day 106 – I am grateful to have solved a Rubix cube for the first time (albeit with a little online help!)
Day 107 – I am grateful for fairies at the bottom of our garden.
Day 108 – I am grateful that the children are enjoying having so much time with Daddy.
Day 109 – I am grateful that Thomas enjoys playing in the playhouse in the garden as much as his sisters did.
I have just seen you on FB playing the piano for the church service today. You are one talented lady!
Sending love and hugs. Tuesday must have been hard but it sounds like you were surrounded by love.
I don’t think I have ever managed to solve a Rubix cube. Go you! x
Thank you Kim. I enjoy doing it – I so rarely play the piano these days and it’s nice to have something to encourage me to do so! x
Thomas is so fair haired isn’t he. Were the girls when they were younger too? Finishing a rubik’s cube is a big achievement however it’s done. It still gives me pleasure everytime I manage it – even though I do need online prompts from halfway through.
Sophie was quite fair, but not quite as fair as Thomas I think whereas Jessica had light brown hair. Funnily enough all three of them had very dark hair when they were born though.
It must have been a tough week for you all, but how thoughtful of GreenAcres to put those flowers there for Jessica’s anniversary and to send you a photo. What a lovely photo of Thomas with his Daddy! I’m in awe of you doing the Rubik’s cube. Even with online help, that is a great achievement.
Thank you Sarah. It was so lovely of GreenAcres to do that – made it a little more bearable that we couldn’t visit her that day.
Sending hugs for what has been a tough week. It’s lovely that GreenAcres put the flowers there and shared the photo – it makes it slightly easier for you not being able to be there. Well done on the piano playing, and the Rubik’s cube – I’m very impressed on both counts ! Lovely to see the kids having fun and thoroughly enjoying sending time with their dad ! xx
Thanks Cheryl – it meant a lot that GreenAcres did that for us and it did make it a little easier for us with not being able to visit ourselves.
Thomas is so fair-haired, isn’t he? Finishing a Rubik’s cube awesome. My boys love using the app to do it. Well done on the piano playing that is awesome xx
I didn’t know there was an app for doing the Rubik’s cube – will have to check that out.
How lovely of the hospice to place flowers at Jessica’s forever bed, what a lovely way to describe it and to send you photos also, that was very thoughtful of them./ Well done to your husband for setting up the live streaming, being part of a community is something I miss
I miss being part of a community too. It is nice to be able to do something like the live-stream to help bring it back as much as we can right now.
Big hugs to you! How lovely of GreenAcres to put flowers on Jessica’s anniversary and send you a photo.
Well done on playing the piano for the church service.
I’ve never been able to solve a Rubic’s cube. The fairy corner of the garden looks very pretty.
Keep safe!
Thank you. It was so lovely of them to do that – made not being able to visit Jessica’s forever bed ourselves a little more bearable.
Wow, that’s so amazing performing at a church service! You all are very brave for having gone through such a tough time of the loss of your daughter. May her soul rest in peace. Wow, I could never solve a Rubix cube. That’s a cute playhouse.
Thank you. It’s certainly been a tough couple of years.
aaahhhhh at the daddy cuddles.
How lovely of the, to put the flowers and send the pictures of Jessica’s forever bed, I really like that phrase, sounds so much more loving than the word grave.
Touches my heart that you are getting the well wishes and the love sent your way. 6 1/2 years is not enough but great to look back on videos and pictures to remember her
Thank you Elaine. 6 1/2 years was not enough, that’s true, but I’m so grateful that that much with her too.
How lovely that they put the flowers on the forever bed and sent you a picture! It must have been a difficult week, I admire how you look for the positive.
Thank you Erica. I find it helps a lot trying to look for something positive each day.
looks like you had a lovely easter and well done on the Rubik’s cube, can never complete more than one side
I am so glad you were able to have some photos send of Jessica’s resting place, so hard not to be able to go in person right now, hopefully that is something that will ease soon if they decide it’s safer.
We also are doing live streamed church which is a little strange but at least have access to that. Everyone joins in from home.
I have never been able to do a Rubix cube, well done!
Our Rubiks cube has still never been solved: I am insanely jealous! What lovely flowers to honour Jessica, the kindness of others really shines in these dark times #project366
So nice to be able to still have a virtual service. I am sorry you could not visit Jessicas forever bed such a nice thing for the hospice to do. It must have been a very tough week for you all, sending love xx