Friday Focus 17/04/2020 – Sharing some joy for Jessica

This week has been a tough one with the second anniversary of Jessica’s death. We tried to focus on the joy that Jessica shared during her life and mark the date by doing little things to #givejoyforjessica and encouraging others to do the same.


The word 'joy' in pink with doodles of a red heart, blue forget-me-nots and a lilac butterfly


Sophie and I made and decorated salt dough hearts which we delivered to some of our friends. One of my friends had bought butterfly badges and shared these with other friends for us to all wear on 14th April as we thought of and remember Jessica. It was lovely to see memories of Jessica being shared on Facebook. It was so hard not being able to go and visit her and sit by her forever bed, but GreenAcres were very kind and put some beautiful purple tulips in her vase and sent us photos. We certainly felt very much surrounded by love that day, and have been on the receiving end of a few little acts of sharing joy for Jessica. Thank you so much to everyone who helped make that day a little more bearable for us.


Rainbow-coloured flowers in a vase and a wooden carving of Jessica on top of my piano


As with last year, it was the day before that was the harder day. Jessica died in the early hours of the 14th April, so most of our memories of various last moments with her take place on 13th April and the evening was particularly tough. We cried a lot that day but watching videos of Jessica helped make us smile too – especially a couple of unedited video reviews that I found with all the funny little moments of trying to get the girls to sit still and tell me what they thought, and not constantly ask “can I see the video now, Mummy?” or pick their noses or wave their legs in the air. Moments that really helped bring back the ‘realness’ of life with Jessica and some of the perfectly imperfect moments.


I’ve had quite a busy week overall. Last Sunday, I thought it would be nice to do a Facebook Live on our church page from my piano and sing a few Easter hymns. I was just going to record it from my phone, but my husband (who runs a company that provides audio-visual technical support) had other ideas! I ended up having proper lighting and microphones, words on the screen, and a little screen for me to be able to see what was being streamed while hubby controlled it all from his home office (or ‘Daddy’s man cave’ as it is usually known).


Me sitting at the piano with lighting and video recording equipment set up in the foreground


We enjoyed it so much that we were willing to make it a regular thing and it’s led to a lot of discussion over ways of ‘being church remotely’ which has been good. Our church is without a minister at the moment. It’s fair to say that most of the leadership (and membership) are not very tech-savvy so live streaming worship hadn’t really been considered as a viable option. In all honesty, I wouldn’t have thought of it myself a few weeks earlier. I’ve been quite ambivalent about church since Jessica died and my faith has certainly taken quite a battering. It was wonderful though to have that sense of worshiping together as a community once more on Easter Sunday and to start to care about church again. If you’d told me a couple of weeks ago, I’d be offering to co-ordinate live streaming of worship, I’d have laughed and said, “absolutely no way!” but here we are. God does indeed move in mysterious ways!



Things that have made me smile this week

  • Thomas’s adorable new dungarees.


Thomas wearing a yellow top with jungle animal print dungarees


  • The beautiful butterfly mobile that Jessica’s godmother sent to hang in our garden.


A butterfly mobile hanging above the rose bushes


  • Chocolate for breakfast on Easter morning.


  • Doing an Easter egg hunt in the garden.


Sophie hunting for Easter eggs amongst the forget-me-nots in the garden

  • The little heart-shaped patch of light that appeared in the dining room on the anniversary of Jessica’s death.


A heart-shaped patch of light on the dining room carpet


  • The thoughtful little gifts and flowers we’ve been sent in memory of Jessica.


  • Making fairy gardens with Sophie. I’ve also made her a new fairy house to go in the garden.


A hand-painted fairy house made from a flower pot with an upturned large yogurt pot on top for the roof


  • Sophie making up a song and dance.


  • Learning how to solve a Rubix cube.


Thomas playing with a Rubix cube


  • Doing an online quiz night with some of our friends.
Word of the Week linky

12 thoughts on “Friday Focus 17/04/2020 – Sharing some joy for Jessica

  1. You did it, you got through one of the worst weeks with love, joy and kindness. Jessica is still with you in so many ways. I love your community remote church service. We have a church doing something similar. xx

  2. Sometimes it’s the little things that mean the most. Well done you for organising your church service! It’s amazing what can be achieved with technology.

    1. Thank you – it did help that my husband is very good on the technology side of things!

  3. This past week must have been very hard for you, but you got through it with courage and grace. I think watching videos of your two girls was a wonderful idea to commemorate the happy times they shared together.

    Good for you and Hubby for stepping up for your church! I am sure the other parishioners appreciated your singing and his tech-savvy when they viewed the hymns.

    And Thomas’s overalls are adorable! 🙂

    1. Thank you Laurie, it was a tough week, but watching the videos was a lovely way to remember Jessica and bring back the ‘realness’ of all those wonderful memories we have.

  4. It sounds like you had a special day on Tuesday. Aww! The memories about the videos really did make me smile.
    Well done your hubby for setting up the Facebook live. It looks very professional and is such a great idea.
    Thomas’s dungarees are just adorable and that heart shape patch of light has to be a sign. x

    1. Thanks Kim. That heart shaped patch of light felt like a little sign from Jessica to me too x

  5. Filling the anniversary with joy is so fitting. Absolutely wonderful that you have video of Jessica and Sophie being themselves. Green Acres leaving flowers is so thoughtful. I hope it made is easier on you when you couldn’t visit. The butterfly mobile and light must have made you all smile.

    Good for you and your husband setting up a Facebook Live. I’m sure members of your church enjoyed seeing a familiar face. Love Thomas’s dungarees and Sophie in her pretty Easter dress collecting eggs. I’m guessing it was you that cracked the Rubix cube rather than Thomas. Hope you have a lovely weekend. #wotw

    1. Having a positive focus does make the anniversary a little easier for us and it was so lovely of GreenAcres to leave the flowers for Jessica. It was me doing the Rubix cube but I liked watching Thomas playing with it and it was a good photo to use 🙂

  6. Sending so much love to you all, I cant imagine how hard it is for you all. I am so glad so many people helped you to celebrate Jessicas life. Thomas looks so cute in his dungarees, and wow streaming hymns is amazing I bet the congregation loved it, stay save xx

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