Since 2016, I have taken part in a daily gratitude challenge, sharing a photo of one thing I am thankful for each day on Instagram. There have been days when finding little things to be grateful for has been very easy to do and others when it has been incredibly hard. Life as a bereaved parent is quite a rollercoaster at times. There have been many moments when I don’t feel grateful for anything at all – just broken and bruised. However, looking for those little moments has helped me even on the darkest of days. Hard though it may be at times, I have always managed to find something to be thankful for.
My eldest daughter Jessica was an inspiration to me throughout her short life. She had so much strength and such a wonderful zest for life. Her godmother described her once as a “joy carrier” and it was the perfect description for her. She was a little ray of sunshine, full of smiles and gave joy to all who knew her. I am, and will always be, grateful to be her mummy. She taught me to enjoy the little moments and to make the most of everyday because tomorrow is never promised. I continue with this challenge in honour of my beautiful brave girl.
If you would like to join me in a daily gratitude challenge for 2019, do feel free to use the hashtag #LHBL365daysofgratitude2019 on Instagram so I can find your posts there.
Day 244 – I am grateful for love, support, some words of wisdom, and a little boy who was very proud of himself for standing without holding on to anything. A little moment that made me smile in what has been a very tough day. September brings a whirlwind of emotions with back to school and Jessica’s birthday coming up. Just got to take each moment as it comes, and feel what I need to feel.
Day 245 – I am grateful for a successful day hunting for lion sculptures in Windsor – we’ve ticked 37 of the lions off our list and will hopefully find the other 9 another day!
Day 246 – I am grateful for a lovely summer. We’ve managed to tick everything off on Sophie’s summer holiday activities list and I’ve loved having my baby girl home with me for the last few weeks. I feel quite sad that the holidays are over and she’ll be back at school again tomorrow. The house will be very quiet without her.
Day 247 – I am grateful that Sophie enjoyed her first day in Year 1. It’s been an emotional day. Jessica would have been starting at the junior school. I wasn’t prepared for Sophie to come out of school carrying the home school folder that I put together with all the school work Jessica did with me while she was recovering from her Fontan. I’m glad to have it back to keep but looking through it made me cry. So glad I did get that time homeschooling her though. Precious memories. Am sure she would have been very proud of her little sister today too
Day 248 – I am grateful for a successful afternoon baking and decorating Jessica’s birthday cake. I wish I could be having a busy evening of wrapping presents and preparing for my big girl’s birthday tomorrow but we’ll remember Jessica on her birthday as best we can and there has to be cake because Jessica loved cake and would most definitely want us to have cake on her birthday.
Day 249 – I am grateful that Jessica is loved and remembered by so many people on her eighth birthday. We took her cake to her this afternoon and sang happy birthday. Her birthday flowers include some of the ones that we’ve been sent today too. Thank you to everyone who has held Jessica, and us, in love today.
Day 250 – I am grateful for time for myself this morning and being able to arrange the flowers at church without having to look after small people at the same time. This week’s ones are in memory of my beautiful big girl.