I was recently inspired by Cuddle Fairy to take part in the #NoComplaints challenge – trying to go a whole day without complaints, criticism or negative thinking. Whilst I try to be quite a positive person, I know that I can also get quickly sucked into a spiral of negativity (especially when tired) and this sounded like a good challenge to try.
Tuesday was the day set for the challenge and from the moment the girls woke me up in the morning, I was determined to be positive and upbeat. Normally, I’m quite grumpy in the morning until I’ve had coffee but having already decided not to grumble made it a lot easier to get up and get on with the day. The beautiful sunrise outside the window also helped to keep me cheerful.
Mornings are often a little challenging with the stress of trying to get everyone dressed, fed and out of the door in time for Jessica to go to preschool. Knowing that I needed to stay positive made me pre-empt the stressful moments and consequently I was much more organised and prepared than usual. It was still a mad rush at the end but without the stress which made a big difference!
Mid-morning saw the first hiccup – catching myself mid-grumble about the traffic when heading out to the shops. I’d been making a conscious effort to be positive but I’d slipped into auto-pilot for a few minutes whilst in the car. It made me realise just how automatic some of those grumbles really are!
Throughout the day, I found myself becoming much more aware of my triggers – the things that start that spiral of negativity. Those moments when the girls are whining, or being demanding, or fighting with each other – the normal, everyday challenges of parenting. And as with the morning, I found myself thinking ahead, trying to nip things in the bud before they got to the stage of triggering that negative spiral. It meant that I was responding more quickly to the girls’ needs, was more consciously aware of them and was less distracted by other things. It wasn’t too surprising that the girls also seemed happier as a result.
The evening was by far the most challenging time of the day. From dinnertime to bedtime is often tough – the girls are tired and grumpy, I’m tired and grumpy and it’s not a good combination! It became a little harder to try and tread the line between encouraging them to help tidy up/get ready for bed/settle down to sleep without being negative or critical. I managed to mostly keep smiling although I confess it was somewhat forced at times!
Whilst I did find it quite difficult at times to stay positive, doing so made a big difference to my stress levels and the children were so much happier for it too. I was more organised, more aware of things happening around me, more attentive with regards to the children’s needs and the day went a little more smoothly as a result.
The #NoComplaints challenge made me realise though just how automatic those grumbles are; how easily they slip out if I’m not consciously trying to hold them back. It’s made me more aware of my thought processes and the things I say. I did find it took a lot of effort at times to stay positive and whilst it’s not something I could manage to do every day, I think it is something that would be well worth doing on a regular basis. I have a feeling that if I try it more often, those automatic grumbles will become less and less automatic and the positive thoughts will come a little more easily.
I am also taking part in the #nocomplaints challenge. I have found that it makes my Mondays a lot more positive and cheery but it can be a challenge at times! #bloggersclubuk
Definitely challenging at times but it is good to have that positive focus, isn’t it? 🙂
what a great challenge to take and well done you, it sounds really hard, I know I would struggle and yes evenings when you are getting tired would definitely be hardest. #bloggersclubuk
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Thanks Fiona – the evening was definitely a struggle but quite glad I managed to get through it without getting grumpy with the kids!
It was so lovely to have you take part in the no complaints challenge Louise. You stayed so positive & upbeat in your tweets & inspired everyone throughout the day. I had the exact same experience my first time doing the challenge. It’s amazing how much of our negativity is habit. And, heading off the stress or complaining is so helpful. It does make a happier day for everyone. I hope you join in the next challenge! Thanks for linking up with us as well! x
Thank you so much Becky – really enjoyed taking part and it did make such a difference to my day. Looking forward to joining in next time! 🙂
This is so interesting, I am not sure I would have done so well – I am really gumpy at the minute! I am going to have to try a little bit harder! I think this is a great idea to try and do every so often, it good to work out what grumbling triggers are and how to stop them
The sunrises lately have been something else! They are a great way to start the day =)
Thanks Jenni – it definitely made me more aware of my triggers for getting grumpy over things and whilst I’ve slipped back into my normal slightly-grumpy state over the last couple of days, the challenge did linger for a couple of days and hopefully next time will linger for a little longer. Loving the sunrises too! 🙂
What a great challenge! I think I would struggle but I think it’s worth me giving it a go….
Thanks Kim – I’ll let you know when the next one is in case you want to join in! 🙂
Interesting to get your thoughts on this, since the things that you tend to find yourself complaining about are common annoyances for any parent! I tend to think that I’m fairly positive, but I bet that if I was paying attention all day long I would find that I grumble more than I realise. Am I brave enough to try it myself? I’m not sure!
It definitely made me more aware of the trigger points and which grumbles come more automatically – bedtime was still stressful but I think the girls were a little calmer for not having such a grumpy mummy. It’s certainly something I’ll be trying again.
This is a great campaign, I can so relate to getting out of the door! I often end up shouting an getting stressed and then feeling bad an guilty as soon as we are in the car on the way out! regretting that I will be depositing Monkey at nursery on a bad note. He always forgives me with a sloppy kiss and love you comments but it doesn’t stop me feeling bad! You have inspired me to try to get out of the house all week with no stress or complaints!! Thank you 🙂 and thank you for joining us at #BloggerClubUK hope to see you again next week xx
Thank you – getting out the door is usually very stressful here too – knowing I had to stay positive made me think ahead about how to ease it which was definitely a good thing!