It feels like we are in a strange kind of limbo at the moment. A time between two different family lives. Having to prepare for the arrival of a new child whilst desperately longing for and missing the little girl we’ve lost. Family life for us has changed forever and in a few weeks’… Read More
I’ve now hit the point in my pregnancy when it has suddenly dawned on me that we really are about to have another baby – and how soon that moment will arrive. We’re now closer to Peanut’s arrival than we are to Jessica’s death which brings the reality of it all back into sharp perspective.… Read More
Grief is a journey that none of us want to take, and yet nearly all of us will find ourselves having to navigate it at some point in our lives. It’s a journey that we can never quite prepare ourselves for and the path through can often be hard to find, especially as grief is… Read More
The end of the week is always the hardest part of the week. It’s at this point in the week that the memories of those last days with Jessica come back the most and often with those memories come questions. Did I ask the right questions when we were in hospital? Would Jessica still be… Read More
Last night I dreamed about Jessica. She was wearing a hand-knitted green and white cardigan that she’d had as a toddler, although in my dream she was the age she was when she died. She’d been chewing on her cardigan next to a button and had made it fray slightly. As I often did in… Read More
If you’d asked me to describe our daily life with Jessica, I would have said it was pretty normal. All the things that came with having a child with a complex heart condition were just part of our everyday life. We did them without really thinking about them and never really noticed their impact. It… Read More
I can’t quite believe that I’m now firmly into the third trimester of this pregnancy. Physically, the second trimester was a fairly easy one. Emotionally it has been the hardest time of my life. I remember being on holiday when I was around 22 weeks pregnant; sitting on the sofa with Jessica lying with her… Read More