It has been lovely to see that beautiful bond that Sophie and Thomas have getting stronger each day as they spend so much time together. If we’d just had normal life over the last three months, they wouldn’t have had this kind of time together. It’s been so nice to see them enjoying being together; Thomas is getting the time with Sophie that she had with Jessica at a similar age. And like Sophie with Jessica, he adores his big sister and she is the one that can make him giggle more easily and for longer than anyone else. He loves it when she plays with him; he loves trying to tickle her (although it does tend to be more scratchy than tickly!) and she can be so patient with him in return.
He can’t play with her like Jessica used to, but he can play more now and although she is the one that tends to entertain while Thomas is the one being entertained, they can keep each other amused for a while. Sophie loves to help look after him – she’ll take him upstairs and brush his teeth at bedtime; she’ll pick him up and cuddle him if he falls over; she’ll encourage him on as he learns new things and is delighted whenever he does something for the first time. I’m so glad that they have that beautiful sibling bond with each other.
Jessica is part of it too. Thomas recognises Jessica in photos and occasionally he asks “where Jessica gone?” One day he’ll be old enough to understand the answer to that question. Sophie is at the age too of asking questions such as “why did God take Jessica away?” I’m glad she feels able to ask the questions even if I can’t give her answers to them. She’s learning that some questions don’t have clear answers. Bedtime tends to be the main time when she opens up – in the dim light and the calmness at the end of the day. She’ll talk about the things that she and Jessica did together. I know she misses her sister and sometimes wishes she could go back in time so she could see Jessica again. Wouldn’t that be amazing if we could do that?
Our photos this month are from our quiet moments of remembering Jessica. We’re now able to visit Jessica’s forever bed at GreenAcres again. Thomas managed the walk from the car park holding on to Sophie’s hand the whole way. It was so lovely to watch them walking along hand-in-hand. Another moment that reminded me of watching my girls together.
Thomas (1 year 10 months)
- Has started to take an interest in the piano. I love the way he tends to play with one finger and work his way up and down the notes.
- Numbers are still his favourite thing at the moment. I love watching his joy when he recognises them somewhere and listening to him count. He can now count to twenty. Unsurprisingly his favourite CBeebies programme is Numberblocks (which he calls “Affablocks” (alphablocks) for some reason).
- Gets chattier and chattier by the day. I love some of the little expressions he comes out with – “not again!” whenever Sophie starts her ballet or drama class over Zoom, “where bug gone?” when looking for mini beasts out in the garden, the delighted “a-woo!” when milk is on offer along with the acknowledgment that he is a “mik monster!”
- Is such an affectionate little boy. I love how he will often climb into my lap for a cuddle, give my legs a squeeze and say “aww, I love you” or “I love Mummy!”
Sophie (6 years 7 months)
- Has now overtaken Jessica in age and is now, in her words, “the big sister”.
- Continues to cope well with home schooling. We made the decision not to send her back to school before September as home schooling has been going well and we are happy that Sophie is keeping up with her learning.
- Has lost another top tooth and was very excited to have another visit from the tooth fairy.
- Has been enjoying taking a closer look at nature and doing nature-based activities as we join in with #30DaysWild again.
Jessica (forever 6 years 7 months)
- The ribbons from Jessica’s memorial butterfly at school have now been removed. We were thankful that the school let us have the butterfly at home for a morning so that we could remove the ribbons and take our time over doing so. It was very special and emotional to read each of the memories written on them again before putting them away in Jessica’s memory box.