We’ve had a tough milestone this week. Yesterday Sophie was the exact age that Jessica was when she died and today she has overtaken her. It is very weird that my middle child is now the eldest one and from here on everything will be new. We’ve felt the shadow of this moment hanging over us for some time and now it is here. And while I am of course always glad to be able to watch Sophie grow and thrive, it breaks my heart that I no longer get to do so with Jessica.
Moments like this are always a reminder that time keeps moving forward. I have to stop and remind myself that this doesn’t mean that we leave Jessica behind though. She’s always with us; always part of our family. Always loved, always remembered, forever missed.
Things that have made me smile this week
- Sophie and Thomas sitting together at the piano.
- Catching up with people from my church at our Zoom coffee morning.
- Treating myself to a pretty new dress and some bits for the garden with my birthday money.
- Playing games in the garden with Sophie.
- Singing with Sophie.
- Setting up a dinosaur world in the tuff tray for the children.
- Getting our new paddling pool out and watching Sophie and Thomas having fun in it.
- Joining in with a musical theatre quiz on Zoom.
- Watching Thomas play in our fairy garden.
- Listening to Thomas chattering away to himself and the way he grins and says “milk monster!” when he wants to be fed.
- Thomas trying to stick the fallen petals back on the roses.
- Dying my hair red.