We’ve had a tough milestone this week. Yesterday Sophie was the exact age that Jessica was when she died and today she has overtaken her. It is very weird that my middle child is now the eldest one and from here on everything will be new. We’ve felt the shadow of this moment hanging over us for some time and now it is here. And while I am of course always glad to be able to watch Sophie grow and thrive, it breaks my heart that I no longer get to do so with Jessica.
Moments like this are always a reminder that time keeps moving forward. I have to stop and remind myself that this doesn’t mean that we leave Jessica behind though. She’s always with us; always part of our family. Always loved, always remembered, forever missed.
Things that have made me smile this week
- Sophie and Thomas sitting together at the piano.
- Catching up with people from my church at our Zoom coffee morning.
- Treating myself to a pretty new dress and some bits for the garden with my birthday money.
- Playing games in the garden with Sophie.
- Singing with Sophie.
- Setting up a dinosaur world in the tuff tray for the children.
- Getting our new paddling pool out and watching Sophie and Thomas having fun in it.
- Joining in with a musical theatre quiz on Zoom.
- Watching Thomas play in our fairy garden.
- Listening to Thomas chattering away to himself and the way he grins and says “milk monster!” when he wants to be fed.
- Thomas trying to stick the fallen petals back on the roses.
- Dying my hair red.
And in the very last comment- Dying your hair red 🙂
now that we need a picture of!
By the way the putting on of a happy face, complete with gap-toothed smile, was charming.
Keep well all of you.
Thank you Elizabeth. I shared a photo on Facebook and it’ll be up on the blog tomorrow in my gratitude post. I love the change in colour although Sophie is a little less sure about it. Hope you are keeping well x
Your post the other day really made me feel emotional, but as usual I can see you are battling through. Your dress is gorgeous! And I love your singing with Sophie, She definitely takes after you and can hold a tune already. Sending much love this week stay strong and smiling, put on a happy face and remember with joy xx
#wotw
Thank you Anne, I really enjoyed singing with her. It’s a shame we weren’t able to sing it on stage together but I’m sure there’ll be another opportunity x
I don’t think you ever need to worry about Jessica not being with you, you always include her so beautifully in everything you do! 🙂 I love your dress, it’s perfect for the summer weather and it would look beautiful with some tights later in the year too. Mum’s have a reputation of forgetting to treat themselves as they spend so much time running around after everyone else, so I’m so pleased that you have! #wotw
That’s very true – I very rarely treat myself so it was lovely to do so 🙂
This is the first time I’ve found your blog and my heart goes out to you. All three of your children are so beautiful and it’s clear that Jessica will always be with you.
Your dress is gorgeous, by the way – you look fab! Where did you get it?
#WotW
Thank you Becca. The dress is from Elsie’s Attic 🙂
Louise,
Your blogposts yesterday and today have been moving and eloquent, as your blogposts so often are.
“I still think of Jessica a lot”, says Sarah in her comment, and that’s true of me also.
The photos of Jessica with Sophie alongside remind us of how much Sophie has grown up.
Thomas in the paddling-pool — the unrestrained delight of a carefree toddler!
Thank you, it always means a lot to know Jessica is thought of and remembered by others. Sophie certainly has grown so much – I look back at photos of her with Jessica and realise how much she’s changed. Thomas was having a wonderful time in the paddling pool – I’m so glad I managed to capture that particular moment 🙂
Oh I know that feeling from a sibling point of view. Passing the age my sister died was monumental. She remains forever young. Jessica will always be your first born.
I love your new dress and you look so happy in it. Saw your Instagram photo of your hair. It really does suit you. You really captured the moment with Thomas and Sophie in the paddling pool. Can’t help smiling at the idea of Thomas putting the petals back on the rose. So sweet. Hope you have a lovely weekend. #wotw
I’m sorry that you also lost your sister and I can imagine that must have been a moment that stuck in your memory. Sophie told me yesterday that she is the big sister now because she is bigger than Jessica so it’s been a significant moment for her too. Thomas did make me chuckle trying to put the petals back on the roses. Hope you have a lovely weekend too.
Oh no! What a tough milestone. It must be so hard seeing Sophie grow and pass Jessica. I don’t think for one second you will ever leave Jessica behind. She is such a big part of your life and always will be, she was such a special girl.
It sounds like you have had some lovely moments too this week. It must be nice to catch up with people from your church even if it is just online. I love the video of you and Sophie singing. It really did make me smile. x
Thank you Kim. She will always be a huge part of our lives. Glad you liked the video – Sophie and I had such fun singing together 🙂
Love your song — Sophie so cute, but you can really sing, Lovely! A tough time, but so many positives too, Lovely post, Louise. #WotW
Thank you Enda.