Friday Focus 23/08/19 – Mixed emotions

This week has been a bit of a mixed one – there have been happy moments but also moments of feeling overwhelmed, stressed, tired and fed up with everything. Such is the nature of living with grief. Highs followed by crashing lows; joy interspersed with sorrow; emotions that are rarely uncomplicated. Some days I navigate the storms better than others; some days I become the storm myself, raging away at everything and anything. Then it all calms down for a while and life feels more manageable. This week has seen all of those kinds of moments. A week where emotions have been running high in various situations, but then there is calm after the storm once more. Time to recover and catch my breath once more.

 

The word 'mixed' with a mixing spoon behind the "ix"

 

It’s hubby’s birthday today. The big 4-0. He’s caught me up again. He’s away at the moment though, working on an event in New York, so we celebrated his birthday early with a garden party at his parents’ house. It was lovely to catch up with friends from university days and to watch Sophie having fun with the other children at the party. The way she likes to take the little ones under her wing. I love how caring she is. Thomas enjoyed all the cuddles and attention he got too.

 

Although I’m used to frequent periods of flying solo, I often struggle in the run-up to them. The thought is always worse than the reality of it. Plus it always feels a bit crazy – that busy period of preparing for hubby to go away – followed by the calm once more as I settle into my own routines and ways of juggling things. Having ‘time out’ to go to rehearsal while Grandma looked after the children helped too. Another opportunity to regroup and refocus after all the ups and downs of the week.

 

Things that have made me smile this week

  • Making a mixing desk cake for hubby’s birthday.

 

My mixing desk cake with liquoriceuk allsorts dials and buttons

 

  • Listening to Thomas giggling away as he went on a bouncy castle for the first time.

A smiley Thomas sitting on a blue and red bouncy castle with Sophie running towards him

 

  • Sophie’s joy at getting to see some of her school friends at a birthday party.

 

  • Playing board games with Sophie.

 

  • Watching Sophie helping to create a piece of art with some of her Halo friends.

 

Sophie making a mosaic picture of a flame with Halo

 

  • Setting up the tepee in the garden and sitting in it reading stories together.

 

Sophie and Thomas sitting in a home-made tepee looking at books together

 

  • Having a toy hunt in the garden with Sophie.

 

  • Remembering how to back-wrap and carrying Thomas on my back for the first time.

 

Thomas in a green woven wrap on my back

 

Word of the Week linky

7 thoughts on “Friday Focus 23/08/19 – Mixed emotions

  1. It sounds like your week has been a rollercoaster of emotions, understandably so. It must be hard when your husband goes away for work, you cope amazingly well and your weeks always look like they are full of fun for Sophie and Thomas. The cake you made looks awesome, happy birthday to your husband! I hope you have a lovely weekend x

  2. With grief I think life is always a bag of mixed emotions. It must be really hard coming down after your long journey and then to go it alone while your husband is away will add to the pressure. The birthday cake is fabulous, what a great idea! I love your teepee too as well as the photo of you with Thomas on your back, he looks so tiny.
    Thanks for linking up for #wotw

  3. must be horrible to keep going through the full range of emotions, I hope eventually it settles to more highs than lows for you. Grief is hideous and with no time scale.
    Love the bouncy castle pic and he loos very cute on the back wrap.
    Great cake, well made

  4. So sorry you have had some moments that haven’t been so good. Sending hugs.
    Happy birthday to your hubby! The party sounds lovely and the cake looks fab!
    The kids look like they’re having a fab time on the bouncy castle. x

  5. Happy birthday to your hubby! 40 is still very young. So glad you allowed Grandma to watch the children for a while. We grandmas love a chance to spend time with our grandchildren! 🙂

  6. Happy birthday to your husband. Lovely to have a catch up with uni friends too. I’m glad you were able to get help. I can imagine that it feels like a storm at time. I love the birthday cake. Very clever. Sophie and Thomas looks so sweet on the bouncy castle. Well done for working out the wrap and carrying Thomas on your back. I used to love carrying mine in their sling. #WOTW

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