Friday Focus 22/04/22 – Full-on

It’s been a full-on couple of weeks over the Easter holidays, trying to keep Sophie and Thomas entertained while navigating the storms of grief around the anniversary of Jessica’s death as well as juggling work and my church commitments during Holy Week. We got through it all, and most of the balls being juggled stayed up in the air, but it’s certainly been an emotional rollercoaster of a fortnight. I’m feeling rather exhausted, emotionally as well as physically, as a result of it all and hoping for a quieter couple of weeks to recover from it all.


The word 'full-on' in red


What I’ve been grateful for over the last two weeks:


Sophie and Thomas at Bekonscot model village; Sophie and Thomas playing on the new play equipment at Langley Park; Thomas looking at 'Thomas' written on the wall in red pen; Sophie in her tap costume holding her gold medal; Sophie bowling a hoop at Chiltern Open Air Museum; Sophie and Thomas standing in front of a pond; a smiley Jessica sitting at the table - "#365daysofgratitude 2022 - Week 15"


  • Day 98 – I am grateful for a lovely afternoon at Bekonscot to start the Easter holidays.


  • Day 99 – I am grateful that the playground at Langley Park finally has some new play equipment.


  • Day 100 – I am grateful that the writing did come off with soap and water!


  • Day 101 – I am grateful for how much joy Sophie gets out of tap dancing. The standard was high today at Slough Festival and it was her toughest section yet. Super proud of her for coming first and getting the gold medal. Well done Sophie!


  • Day 102 – I am grateful for a lovely day out at Chiltern Open Air Museum


  • Day 103 – I am grateful for getting out for a cuppa with a friend.


  • Day 104 – I am grateful for Jessica and the joy she gave to us and others during her six years on this earth and for the joy that others have been sharing in memory of our little joy-carrier. Today has of course been a very emotional day remembering our beautiful girl but we know we have been held in love and it means a lot that Jessica has been remembered by others too. Thank you to everyone who has shared some joy in her memory


A man dressed as Jesus holding a wooden cross with people standing watching; a smiley Thomas in the garden; Sophie and Thomas hunting for Easter eggs in Grandma and Grandad's garden; Sophie, Daddy and Thomas in the woods; Sophie and Thomas standing with their cousin holding two balloons making the number '16'; Sophie and Thomas looking at a snail made from drinks cans at Black Park; Sophie and Thomas standing next to Thomas's TinyTalk teacher - "#365daysofgratitude 2022 - Week 16"


  • Day 105 – I am grateful that the Good Friday walk of witness was able to take place again this year.


  • Day 106 – I am grateful that Thomas was okay after he gave us the slip at the coffee morning today and wandered off. Horrible couple of moments of absolute panic realising he wasn’t in the church or car park but just I was running down towards the main road, I saw a family coming towards me carrying him having found him at the crossing. So relieved that he was ok but so scary how easily something like this can happen.


  • Day 107 – I am grateful for an Easter egg hunt in Grandma and Grandad’s garden.


  • Day 108 – I am grateful for getting out for a lovely family walk and finding some geocaches along the way. We found ten today bringing my total finds to 100, which was a nice milestone too.


  • Day 109 – I am grateful for a day catching up with my family and getting to see my lovely niece on her birthday.


  • Day 110 – I am grateful for an afternoon at Black Park finding all the bugs on the ‘litterbug trail’ and watching Sophie and Thomas having fun in the playground.


  • Day 111 – I am grateful that Sophie was able to join in again with Thomas’s TinyTalk class.



Other things that have made me smile over the last two weeks:

  • Baking banana bread and cakes with Sophie for her to share with friends as our way of giving joy for Jessica.


  • The beautiful flowers from friends and family members remembering Jessica.


A vase of flowers on a table with a card


  • Trying on costumes for a photoshoot at rehearsal.


Me in top hat and tails


  • An Easter crafts session at church.


Sophie making an Easter card


  • Thomas getting his place at the infant school his sisters went to.


  • Sophie telling me how lucky she is that I’m her mummy and that she loves me all the way to Pluto and back.


  • Seeing the beautiful bluebells while out on a walk in the woods.


Sophie looking at a wood filled with bluebells


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20 thoughts on “Friday Focus 22/04/22 – Full-on

  1. What a busy and emotional time for you, no wonder you are feeling exhausted.
    Lovely photos! Jessica really was a special girl, I don’t think she will ever be forgotten. Oh dear, what a worry about Thomas wandering off. I am so glad he was OK. x

    1. Thank you Kim, it means a lot to know that Jessica won’t be forgotten. Thomas honestly scared the life out of me – it was such a huge relief when he came back safely.

  2. A very full on couple of weeks, and many ups and downs. I can see why you are exhausted. You must be so proud of Sophie and her dancing. And it sounds like Thomas is at the age where he is really keeping you on your toes! I remember them days, I lost my boy in a large shopping centre once, so scary.

    1. Thank you Anne – there have definitely been lots of ups and downs over the past fortnight. Sophie does make me very proud with her dancing – it’s lovely to see how much she enjoys it. Thomas certainly keeps me on my toes! How scary it must have been to lose Little Man in a shopping centre.

  3. Ooh it’s scary when they wander off! Glad Thomas was okay and found quickly. I’m also glad you got the writing off the wall. Bless him he keeps you busy! Well done to Sophie on her gold medal! Beautiful photos as always 🙂

  4. Sounds like it was a busy and emotional couple of weeks. Nice to see how Jessica is being remembered.
    Scary Thomas wandering off. I’ve had N do the same although on a day out (no road, but water). It’s terrifying but good to know there are members of the public who make sure they’re fine and brought back.
    Well done Sophie on her tap 1st place. Good going.

  5. Whoa! Roll back. Is Thomas off to school this September? Congrats on getting the school you wanted, Glad he was found quickly. It happens frighteningly easily. Only once lost one of mine at a busy market. It still haunts me. I loved tap dancing when I was Sophie’s age. She looks the part in her photo. As do you. I can imagine the combination of school holidays and the anniversary of Jessica’s passing is a lot to handle. Hope you have the time you need to take it easy now. #wotw

    1. Yes, starting reception – it doesn’t seem possible, does it?! The Easter holidays were tough – it has been good to have a little time for myself again now that they’re over.

  6. A busy week, understandable you are exhausted.

    Oh my, that must have been so worrying when he wandered off. Glad you managed to find him quickly.

    And well done on the gold medal!

  7. I haven’t been to Chiltern Open Air Museum for years, really must take the kids. Sounds like you have been very busy. Fabulous news that Thomas has got into your chosen school, although I cannot believe he is starting school already

  8. I love the outfit, you look fab. That must have been frightening when Thomas ran off, it’s happened to me in the past, it’s such a panic. Glad he was found safely. The blue bells look fabulous. Lots of lovely Easter activities at the church and such lovely flowers and friends you have.

  9. Bekonscot is high on our bucket list and I’m hoping we will go this month. Good news about Thomas’ school place (where did the time go?) #project365

    1. Hope you manage to make a trip there – it’s a lovely place to visit. I can’t quite believe that Thomas is about to start school either!

  10. Love the craft session, what a beautiful card your daughter made. That is so kind of your friends and family to give you flowers and a card in remembrance, you seem to have a lovely support group around you. It looks like you have had a busy but wonderful week out and about in the sunshine.

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