The presents have all been wrapped, cards have been sent, the tree is up and we are pretty much ready for Christmas to arrive. Sophie finished school yesterday and is very excited that Christmas is nearly here now. At the moment, I’m ok with the festive season. It’s up and down – I’m expecting that – but I’m just taking each moment as it comes. Reminding myself that it’s ok to enjoy the moments and the magic of Christmas as seen through Sophie’s eyes, and that it’s also ok to stop and allow the storm of grief to take me where it will too.
We went to the Christmas remembrance service at GreenAcres at the weekend. Sophie made a bauble for Jessica which she wanted to leave on her sister’s memorial over the Christmas period. The wreath I made a couple of weeks ago has clearly been enjoyed by the wildlife but we brought some beautiful colourful roses to go in her vase. It was an emotional morning, but there is also a sense of peace in taking time to be there with Jessica and bring a little of our Christmas to her.
Things that have made me smile this week
- Watching Sophie and Thomas having fun with Jessica’s best friends at their birthday party. It was lovely to see some of her school friends again but they all seem so very big now and I can’t quite imagine what Jessica would be like at that age.
- Watching the Strictly final.
- Seeing the children’s faces when they came downstairs on Sunday morning and saw that we’d put the Christmas tree up.
- Seeing Father Christmas at the Christmas remembrance service.
- Getting the shoebox nativity scene out and Sophie sharing her memories of how she and Jessica helped make it.
- Practising a Christmas song with Sophie for me and her to sing together at the church carol concert.
- Catching up with a friend over coffee.
- Going out for the work Christmas meal.
- Watching Thomas having fun at the Christmas-themed Tiny Talk session.
- Sophie’s delight at having a new Christmas jumper this year. It’s a bit big for her, but I’m hoping it will last for the next couple of Christmases too!
- Playing games at the church café Christmas party.