I’ve been feeling quite emotional this week, thanks to the end of infant school days for Sophie, our wedding anniversary and a few unexpected grief triggers thrown into the mix. Songs coming on the radio that brought back memories of significant moments with Jessica along with an unexpected plot line involving child loss in what I thought was a fluffy romance novel (my safe genre for when I want to escape reality), all of which threw me off-kilter. It’s not too surprising that grief has been lurking in the shadows waiting to pounce this week given the anniversary and end of infant school days. I just wasn’t expecting it at those particular moments though.
I’m so relieved that Sophie’s year made it through to their leavers’ party without their bubble popping. We’ve been lucky in that respect. I feel so sad for all the children who are missing out on leavers’ parties, especially those who are finishing primary school. I can imagine it must be so hard not being able to say goodbye to friends and teachers.
What I’ve been grateful for this week:
- Day 190 – I am grateful for a school report that describes Sophie as being “kind and thoughtful”, “likes to help others”, “enthusiastic about her learning” and “always tries her best.” She’s done well this year even with all the disruption from lockdown and I’m so proud of her. Well done Sophie.
- Day 191 – I am grateful for a little magic show.
- Day 192 – I am grateful for my husband. Today is our 12th wedding anniversary and in all honesty, I’ve found this anniversary tough. I’m envious of that couple who were so full of joy 12 years ago; so full of excitement for the future. I miss the people we were back then; the people we became when Jessica arrived and who we were when Jessica was here with us. But while I don’t always appreciate this man who has travelled this journey by my side, I know it would have been so much harder without him and I am so very thankful for his love and support. He has been there in the most joyful moments of my life and the most heartbreaking ones and never gives up on me. Throughout the storms, throughout the highs and lows, he is there for me and for our children. Happy anniversary hubby. Love you millions.
- Day 193 – I am grateful for tea and chocolate.
- Day 194 – I am grateful that there seems to have been a little reshuffle with swimming groups and teachers. After a frustrating few weeks of feeling like Sophie’s progress had stalled, she finally seems to be being pushed again and is improving.
- Day 195 – I am grateful for how much joy finding a stick shaped like a Y (or a “sticky Y” as Thomas calls it) has given Thomas this morning.
- Day 196 – I am grateful that Year 2 were able to have their leaver’s party this afternoon.
Other things that have made me smile this week:
- Hubby surprising me with a digital photo frame for our anniversary which included some photos of Jessica that I’d not seen before.
- Having lunch at Halo Play Café with Thomas.
- Watching Sophie enjoying some imaginative play with the Lego house she created.