Friday Focus 07/07/17 – Riding the emotional rollercoaster

The last week has been quite an emotional one overall. Seeing Jessica and Sophie performing in their ballet show was the highlight of the weekend for me. I have to confess I got quite tearful watching them on stage. It was so lovely to watch them dancing and clearly enjoying every moment of it.

 

Emotional - this week's word of the week

 

The end of the school year is bringing with it the acute realisation once again of how quickly my girls are growing up. I really can’t believe that Jessica is nearly at the end of her reception year. We now know what class she will be in next year. She’s so excited about moving up. For me it’s more bittersweet. She’s grown up so much this year and saying goodbye to the end of another chapter always brings a tinge of sadness with it.

 

The biggest emotions for me this week though have been triggered by Jessica’s heart check-up last week. She’s lost weight since the last appointment and her oxygen saturation levels were lower than usual. Whilst I suspect that the weight loss is partly due to the virus that knocked her for six last month, her weight has been an ongoing concern. We’ve been referred back to the team meeting for further discussion about whether Jessica’s Fontan surgery needs to take place sooner rather than later. It is possible that the next step will be an appointment with the surgeon to discuss and set a date for this surgery.

 

As you can imagine, this has thrown me. We’ve been working on the assumption that surgery was not likely to be on the cards this summer; that we were probably still a year away from it. Now we’re back in limbo once again.

 

The ballet show provided a distraction from my thoughts though. It wasn’t until Tuesday morning that everything hit me hard all of a sudden. Breaking down at the toddler group at our local church, and being given time for some much needed prayer support was a reminder that I don’t have to be strong all the time. I don’t have to rely on my own strength alone – and I shouldn’t try. My faith has helped me so much on this journey so far and it will continue to be a source of strength to me, along with the love, support and prayers of family and friends.

 

We don’t know yet what the plan for Jessica is likely to be. The team meeting takes place early next week and we will know more afterwards.

 

Things I have loved this week:

  • Going to Jessica’s school summer fayre – even though we could only stay for a short time.

 

  • Jessica getting her platinum reading racoon certificate for having read 150 books.

 

Jessica with her platinum reading racoon certificate for having read 150 books

  • Getting Jessica’s first school report and reading her teacher’s comments about her being “kind, thoughtful and caring” which made me very proud. She’s at the expected level for everything and exceeding on a couple of things which is brilliant.

 

 

My Sophy's Rose in bloom

  • Having our dinner in the tepee in the garden.

 

 

 

  • Paddling in the stream with Sophie at Denham Country Park.

 

Sophie paddling in the stream at Denham Country Park

 

  • Jessica learning how to play “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” on the piano.

 

Linking up with The Reading Residence for Word of the Week.

17 thoughts on “Friday Focus 07/07/17 – Riding the emotional rollercoaster

  1. Oh Louise, what a week. I’d definitely have cried seeing my two on stage, I always get emotional at performances. I know you were hoping that surgery would remain in the future, so to hear that it could be so much sooner, yet to not know and be in limbo, must be a huge strain on you. I’m glad you have your faith and support around you, and though you are so strong, there’s no need to carry all of that weight alone. I do hope you hear more soon so that you know what will be happening x Thanks for sharing with #WotW

    1. Thank you Jocelyn. It is hard to be in limbo – I’ve certainly been up and down emotionally about it. I know it has to happen at some stage and I’m starting to accept the reality that now might be the right time. We’re very lucky to have such a good support network x

  2. I’m sorry to hear that Jessica’s surgery may be brought forward, I can’t imagine how worrying it is for you Louise. You are right though you don’t have to be strong all the time, it seems like you have a strong support system in place which is wonderful and of course your faith. It sounds like you have had some lovely moments this week too. Have a lovely weekend x #WotW

    1. Thank you so much Angela. There have been lovely moments in amongst all the worry. It has helped to have the support of friends and family. Hope you have had a lovely weekend x

  3. Louise,

    The post you linked to was a well-chosen starting-point for your blog, and it’s a well-chosen reference-point in this stressful situation.
    As always: don’t build on sand, build on the rock.

    1. Thank you. Building on the rock is very good advice – I’ll certainly be doing my best to do so in the coming days x

  4. I’m so sorry that Jessica is needing surgery earlier than expected….It must have been a shock for you even though you might have expected it. Sending big hugs. It sounds like you have some wonderful support to get you through this hard time.
    #WotW

  5. It must be such a difficult time for you Louise, I can’t even begin to imagine what you’re going through. I’m glad you have support from people who will help you through. And your little girls are both fabulous, Jessica is a real star to be doing so well at school despite all the challenges she has to face.
    Nat.x

    1. Thank you so much Nat. Having such good support makes such a difference. Jessica is a little superstar – she makes me proud with how well she copes with everything x

  6. Ah Louise bless you, Jessica is such an incredible little girl, what a week for you all. I hope you get to discus your fears sooner rather than later. I also hope Jessica’s oxygen levels improve soon, sending love xxx

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