At the start of 2016, inspired by a friend, I started a daily gratitude challenge – posting one thing that I was thankful for each day on Instagram. I enjoyed it so much that when I reached the end of that year, I carried on and have kept going ever since. Finding one little thing to be thankful for each day has now become part of my daily routine and I’ve loved seeing friends joining in along the way too.
Finding little things to be grateful for isn’t always easy, especially when living through scary and uncertain times. I have found though that trying to find something, however small and trivial, to be grateful for has helped me through some of the hardest days of my life.
My eldest daughter Jessica, who died in April 2018, was an inspiration to me throughout her short life. She had so much strength and such a wonderful zest for life. Her godmother described her once as a “joy carrier” and it was the perfect description for her. She was a little ray of sunshine, full of smiles and gave joy to all who knew her. I am, and will always be, grateful to be her mummy. She taught me to enjoy the little moments and to make the most of everyday because tomorrow is never promised. And even though having to live life without Jessica is by far the hardest thing I have ever had to do, I will continue to look for those little things to be thankful for, and keep going with this challenge in honour of my beautiful brave girl.
Here are my grateful moments from the past week:
Day 187 – I am grateful for the pure joy of watching a child being engrossed in play.
Day 188 – I am grateful for Numberblocks helping keep Thomas entertained so I can get on with necessary jobs.
Day 189 – I am grateful for a (home) ‘school trip’ to the open air museum.
Day 190 – I am grateful for a lie-in and being brought breakfast in bed this morning. Feel so much better for catching up on sleep.
Day 191 – I am grateful for such a good school report for Sophie (although it is a bit strange having a school report that only covers up to mid-March!) – good to know she was doing well at school and I’ve been so proud of how well she’s adjusted to all the changes of the last few months too. Well done Sophie!
Day 192 – I am grateful for teddy bears. Sophie loves her new bear. Thank you, Grandma and Grandad.
Day 193 – I am grateful for eleven years of married life with my wonderful hubby. We had a bit of a dramatic start to our anniversary with calling an ambulance as I had chest pain, palpitations and light-headedness in the early hours of the morning which was quite scary. The chest pain was probably caused by me sitting awkwardly the last time I’d fed Thomas which happened to be on the left side but as it all happened at the same time of night and on the same day of the week as the night Jessica died, it resulted in a panic attack which was what caused the palpitations and light-headedness. I’m okay today, just tired and feeling a bit wobbly but very thankful for the lovely paramedics who came out; for the fact that Sophie slept through it all, as it would have been very traumatic given her memories of the night Jessica died; and thankful to be here with my family.