Me and You – February: Revisiting our marriage vows

My soppy hubby wanted us to sit as a family on Valentine’s Day and watch our wedding DVD together. It’s something we usually do in July on our wedding anniversary and I love reliving the pure joy of that day but this was the first time in a while that I really paid attention to the words that were said during the service, the reading we chose and the vows we made.

Like many couples on our wedding day, we promised to love, comfort, honour and protect each other in times of prosperity and health and in times of trouble and suffering. In the bigger trials of our lives and especially in the days following our daughter being diagnosed antenatally with hypoplastic left heart syndrome and the many weeks in hospital after her surgeries, those vows have kept us strong, kept us together. We have supported each other, comforted each other, cried and prayed together and held tight to hope and faith together.

Me and You - February: Revisiting our marriage vows - Little Hearts, Big Love

However, it has not been the big trials that have been the ultimate test of our marriage, but the nitty-gritty of day-to-day life. The busyness and exhaustion that life with two small children brings – the lack of time spent together and the little resentments that start to simmer below the surface. These are the little cracks that appear all too easily and threaten to tear us apart if we don’t pay attention to them.

The words from our chosen reading from 1 Corinthians 13 have particularly been a good reminder with regards to those little resentful moments:

Me and You - February: Revisiting our marriage vows: Little Hearts, Big Love

I find it all too easy sometimes to let thoughtless, hurtful words slip out; to see too many of the little things that irritate, to focus on perceived wrongs and forget the many good moments and the extra efforts that have been made. All too often I am impatient, unkind, envious and too easily angered. Stopping and reflecting on the words from this reading has made me realise how unloving I can be at times and how I need to work on biting back those thoughtless words, to take a deep breath and focus on what really matters.

Our minister summed up those day-to-day struggles of married life very well in her address to us:

“You will both grow and you will change. You will disagree and events beyond your control will put stress on your relationship. If you have children they will almost certainly cause you stress… Keep talking and listening to each other. Pray together and work on this new life you have chosen. Although this is the end of your courtship, this is the beginning of an awful lot of hard work. ..

Me and You - February: Revisiting our marriage vows - Little Hearts, Big Love

Marriage is hard work but when we put the effort in, it is amazing how much difference it can make. Taking the time to stop and say “thank you” for the little things, biting back the impatient remark, saying “I love you”, reaching out and holding each other’s hands and making time to listen to each other and reconnect with each other as a couple – these are the things that help remove those little cracks before they have time to grow into big ones.

One of my new year’s resolutions was to make sure hubby and I had a date night together at least every other month. We managed a cinema trip in January – our first for a very long time – and enjoyed a night out at a friend’s birthday party earlier this month. This month’s Me and You photos were taken at that birthday party by our friend Brian, who also happened to be one of our wedding photographers. As much as we love being Mummy and Daddy, it was so good to enjoy being us on that night out and to reminisce. Seeing the person that each of us fell in love with again, laughing and joking together and letting the day-to-day worries and cares just fall away for a few short hours. And despite the late night, we were much more chirpy the next morning than we had been for a while. It is amazing how much of a difference taking that time for each other really can make.

Me and You - February: Revisiting our marriage vows - Little Hearts, Big Love


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38 thoughts on “Me and You – February: Revisiting our marriage vows

  1. Like many others, we had that very same passage from Corinthians read at our wedding. It does no harm to remind yourself of them from time to time. #BigFatLinky

    1. It’s a very popular choice and definitely good to reflect again on the words sometimes.

  2. Aw what a fantastic post. It’s so sweet and really shows the foundations of your relationship. 1 corinthians is such a popular verse but it’s one of my favourites in a relationship or not as it definitely puts love and what live is meant to be so perfectly.
    Thanks for linking up with us on the #bigfatlinky

  3. Love this poignant reminder of what marriage is all about. There are times in any relationship when this can be hard to remember – but it’s so important. Here’s hoping you get to enjoy many more date nights with your husband.

  4. Lovely post. It is definitely hard work to keep a relationship going in the madness of life. Thanks for the reminder of how important it is to keep focusing on it. x

  5. You’re so right, it does take time and it is hard work, but reminding ourselves every now again that we found each other, fell in love and built a family is important. I would love to relive my wedding day, maybe one day? xx #sundaystars

  6. That’s a lovely thing to do for Valentines Day! I think all couples need time away from the children to rediscover themselves – we’re not very good at it but I keep on meaning to organise date nights!

    1. Thank you – it’s hard sometimes to remember to organise time for each other isn’t it?

  7. Awww we just celebrated our 7 years wedding anniversary and we feel the same. SO nice to remember why we got married and the vows we took. Lovely post. Jess x #sundaystars thanks for linking up

  8. Great Post! With the divorce rate in the world as high as it is, it’s important for people to realize that you only get out what you put in.

    It looks like you’ve already figured that out.!

    1. Thank you – it’s good to be reminded every so often as these things are all too easy to forget.

  9. Great to read about such a strong marriage and love that you’re making time to have a date night. I hope you have many great nights out together. Thanks for sharing this and for linking up #bigfatlinky

  10. What a lovely idea, I will remember this for our anniversary! We got married when I was pregnant so it has certainly been an adventure so far! Like you say it is the every day stuff that can sometimes get to you but remembering how it all started is so important and helps put things in to perspective when you’re tired and grumpy with your other half over something trivial!

    Linking up with #mummymonday

  11. Well said Louise. I think we all need a reminder of these things from time to time, especially when we have children! It is a lot of hard work for sure but it’s nice to know that each and every one of us goes through these kind of feelings. Thanks so much for linking up to #thetruthabout Xx

    1. Thanks Sam – it definitely is hard work sometimes but good to be reminded of what marriage is all about. Lovely to link up again 🙂

  12. Louise, this is so touchingly honest. Marriage is quite literally a labour of love, and nothing tests marriage more than children. It is so easy to be unkind, impatient and harsh, I am totally guilty of it. It is so important to take a step back and realise the impact of your words and behaviour on your other half. I’ve had to do a lot of this, as has he.

    A truly lovely post and it is a comfort to know that the rest of us are not alone with these feelings x


    1. Thank you Fiona – I think we are all guilty of being unkind, impatient and harsh at times and it is good to take that step back and reflect every so often. So glad you liked my post x

  13. Wow, what an honest post. You’re right – so much of marriage depends on little kindnesses and thoughtfulness in the grind of daily life. Kids make this even more difficult and the challenge to stay close doesn’t get any easier. So reassuring to know how normal this is! #thetruthabout

  14. What a lovely post. A message I hope to remember if one day I get married! So lovely that you watch your wedding video back every year, not heard of anyone doing that so regularly before. But it’s so lovely!! Really nice to remember the day and see all those that love and care about you. Thankyou so much for linking up and hope to see you again tomorrow! Sorry I’m late this week has been crazy. Thanks again! #MummyMonday xx

  15. A lovely post and very wise words. Too. Marriages changes and evolves and we need to be open eyed about the work that bond takes to upkeep, but the work is worth it

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