Friday Focus 29/06/18 – Feeling hot, hot, hot

It’s been lovely to have so much sunshine this week, even if it has been a little too hot for my liking at times! Sophie’s preschool always have a couple of beach days in the summer and this week was the perfect week for them. Sophie loved being able to go in the paddling pool at preschool with all her friends. We’ve not had the paddling pool out at home this year as the hose is broken and having to lug buckets of water across the garden to fill it instead isn’t appealing at this stage of pregnancy!


The word hot drawn with a sunshine in place of the 'o'


My mum has been staying with us for most of the week. It’s been lovely to spend time with her and have that extra pair of hands to help out. Sophie has really enjoyed her time with Nanny and it was lovely to see her excitement at having Nanny come along to pick her up from preschool. Jessica always used to get so excited about visits from Nanny too. I can still see her little face at the classroom door and the way it would light up when she saw my mum there with me too.


Mum and I spent a morning at Jessica’s forever bed while Sophie was at preschool. I rewrote her name on the post as it was looking faded and we put some fresh flowers in her vase. A little moth settled on my nose for a moment as I stood there. Maybe it was a little sign from Jessica letting us know she was still with us. I always like to think so when things like that happen. Somehow it felt like a little kiss from heaven. We also wrote a little message on a chalkboard heart to leave in the memorial garden for Jessica.


We have been looking into ways of helping support Sophie as well. Last weekend we went to a group which has a monthly arts and crafts session for bereaved children. As it was such a lovely day, the session was held outside in their garden. Sophie had a lovely time watering the plants and exploring the play area. She did have a big cry at one point though. On the surface it seemed to be over wanting something that she couldn’t have but the intensity of her reaction made us think that it was probably also related to missing Jessica. We don’t often find that she cries specifically over missing her sister, but her reactions to other upsets can be much more extreme than they used to be which I think is how her grief often comes out.


One of the hardest things for me this week was giving Jessica’s buggy away to one of my heart mummy friends who needed one for her little heart warrior. It was another reminder that Jessica really isn’t coming back. I miss taking her out in it on days out. Sophie got to have a little ride in it though on the way to meet up with my friend. It was lovely to have one last walk pushing a little girl in it once more and remembering all those happy days out when Jessica was with us too.


Sophie enjoying one last ride in Jessica's buggy



Things that have made me smile this week

  • Watching Sophie have fun at soft play and in the adventure playground while catching up with a friend.


  • Seeing how adorable Sophie looks in her new dress from Nanny – especially when paired with my big sunhat!


Sophie walking into church wearing her new summer dress and my big sunhat


  • Making flower crowns with all the hawksbeard in the back garden.


  • Watching Sophie have fun at Jessica’s school summer fayre.


Sophie with her face painted as a unicorn at the school summer fayre


  • Making bark boats and sailing them in a washing up bowl out in the garden.


The Reading Residence

8 thoughts on “Friday Focus 29/06/18 – Feeling hot, hot, hot

  1. The heat has been relentless hasn’t it, I hope you are managing to keep cool I remember being heavily pregnant one July when the weather was extra hot I would spend most days with my feet in a paddling pool.
    I love the thought of that little moth being a kiss from heaven, a little reminder from Jessica that’s she’s with you still. Sophie’s new dress is beautiful and very summery x

  2. I do like the heat, but I remember being pregnant in it and that wasn’t so much fun, so I do eel for you. Definitely the right weather for paddling pools, but no, not filling it with a bucket whilst pregnant! Glad Sophie managed to do it at preschool instead. The monthly sessions for bereaved children sound good, a way for Sophie to feel less isolated and connect with others going through the same thing, as I doubt her preschool friends can relate to all that she’s going to in the same way as these other children. I remember when my friend lost a daughter, her eldest daughter went through a period of quite extreme outbursts, seemingly unrelated to grief, though they felt she was expressing it in this way. It must be so difficult for them to articulate their anger and their feelings about it when they are so young, as i’s hard enough for adults to do so. Oh, and I adore Sophie’s new dress, looks great with the hat! x Thanks for sharing with #WotW

  3. I was pregnant in the summer too (both times) and it’s no fun. The sessions for bereaved children sound lovely, to be with kids who know how she feels I’m sure will be good for her xxxx

  4. Ahh! I chose the same word. lol I really feel for you being pregnant in this heat. I was pregnant over the summer with both of my girls and it was horrible.
    How wonderful that your mum came to stay. It must have been fab having a little help.
    It sounds like a lovely morning at Jessica’s forever bed. It sounds so peaceful.
    Aww! Sending hugs. It must have been hard to give Jessica’s pushchair away but it sounds like it’s going to help another child. x

  5. I bet this heat is so hard for you, I love it but remember when I was expecting Joe we had a hot summer and it was tough. I believe the moth could have been a sign to, I really believe lost loved ones are all around us in a good way. And I am glad you have had so help too, it must be a n emotional relief as well as a physical one x

  6. Oh gosh it’s just awful being pregnant in the heat, hope you’re not struggling too much. Well done for giving Jessica’s buggy to someone who needs it. It must have been a real wrench to say goodbye to it but lovely for the other mummy to be able to get some use out of it.

  7. As a mum of four summer babies I can fully understand how you are feeling at the moment. I hope you are not too uncomfortable xx It must be so hard for Sophie missing Jessica, and so hard for you too, I’m glad you’ve had your mum over to help out. You are often in my thoughts xx

  8. It is good that you talk and remember Jessica. It is lovely to have your mum help you. Grieve is a funny think never a linear way to proceed it but just going through them waves and knowing it is ok to cry is a good thing X #wotw

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