It’s been nice to have some little pockets of time to do various things this week. Sophie’s ballet class was cancelled last Friday which meant that we had time to get the scooters out and go to the park after school rather than the usual rush to get out to activities.
Sophie enjoyed her time at the theatre taking part in Energize. She didn’t originally have a speaking part but one of her friends was unwell so Sophie stepped in and did her lines. She performed so well and it was lovely to watch her and her friends performing together, although such a shame that her friend missed out on doing the show.
Thomas’s swimming class got cancelled on Sunday morning due to an issue with the pool (which we only found out about en route) so we ended up getting to church early which gave me some extra time for organ practice.
I enjoyed going into Thomas’s school during the week to speak to his year group about my time working as a midwife. It’s been a long time since I worked as a midwife but nice to revisit some memories of those days.
On a more downbeat note, we’re now moving into a difficult time of year with Mother’s Day this weekend and the anniversary of Jessica’s death coming up in a couple of weeks’ time. Jessica’s last Mothers’ Day gift to me was a cardboard watch she made with ‘pearls’ on the strap and extra hours on the clock. It was such a beautiful gift and one of my most treasured possessions. If only I could have that extra time with Jessica herself.
So much time has passed since Jessica was here with us – more time than we had with Jessica here. Seven years on, the memories of those last weeks are still painful ones, knowing as we do now that the virus that Jessica was struggling with was one that she wouldn’t recover from. They say that time heals but it doesn’t really. Grief is part of my life and always will be – some days it sits quietly in the corner and on other days, it makes its presence loudly known. This time of year it becomes much louder and I know I just have to give it the space it needs and give Jessica the time and attention she needs too.
What I’ve been grateful for this week:
- Day 80 – I am grateful for homemade cheese scones with chilli jam.
- Day 81 – I am grateful for getting to watch Sophie and her school friends performing in Energize.
- Day 82 – I am grateful for STEM activity kits and fun making a domino robot.
- Day 83 – I am grateful for being able to get some organ practice in before rehearsal this evening.
- Day 84 – I am grateful for an encouraging parents’ evening for Thomas.
- Day 85 – I am grateful for spring sunshine.
- Day 86 – I am grateful for Numberblock stamps.
Other things that have made me smile this week:
- Sophie and Thomas playing together.
- Listening to Thomas singing to himself while playing or drawing.
- Having a snuggle on the sofa and a chat with Sophie while Thomas was at his afterschool activity club.
Joining in with Raisie Bay for Word of the Week.
Louise, Time is such a precious and perculiar thing and I love the watch that Jessica gave you and the fact after 7 years (I can’t believe it has been that long) you still have. Time certainly does continue, but the feelings, the memories , the grief doesn’t move at the same speed as the world around us, does it? I’ve been taken by surprise by Mother’s Day, going out buying presents for my mum and MIL, I didn’t think about me. I hadn’t thought about you and all the other mother’s who are without a child, yet still have their other children or are now on their own, still a mother though (or a father) how the joy and the sadness mixes equally. Big hugs to you, the family and to all of us. I’m sorry, I’ve not understood till now.
Your words on grief and Jessica are always so eloquent. I can imagine that this time of year is hard. I like the way you walk with these feelings rather than dodge or bat them away. Such a beautiful photo of your two girls. Jessica had a beautiful smile. I love the watch and the thought of having more hours in the day.
I remember the inner relief when one of the children’s classes were cancelled. It meant a break and something else got done. It sounds like you make good use of the opportunity too. The domino robot looks like something we would have enjoyed doing at that stage. We’d probably enjoy it now!
I too am grateful for spring sunshine. #wotw
How lovely to have some extra time to enjoy things. Good job to Sophie for stepping in when her friend was unwell and how cool that you could go into school and talk to the kids about being a midwife.
Thinking of you and your family and sending love and hugs. xx
So nice to have a bit of extra time, although frustrating that classes were cancelled. I hope Mothers Day treats you gently xx
Sending big hugs for you and your family at this ‘tender’ time and hope that you all will find the strength to bear the grief in the days and weeks to come. I’m happy your children are doing well and thriving so the days are brighter and there is always something to look forward to as you parent them while still navigating what you have to deal with inside. It’s true, time doesn’t really heal the pain, but it does make it more bearable.
Hard time to be going through with mother’s day. Hope you are able to take the time you need to remember Jessica, and it can still be a lovely day with Sophie and Thomas.
It’s so poignant that Jessica’s last gift to you was a watch. I can’t imagine how hard it is day-to-day without her, and even more so at this time of year. I will be thinking of you on Mother’s Day.
I enjoyed reading your gratitude list, you always help to remind me that there is something good in every day, no matter how small.
Time is something we always tend to take for granted. I’m taking a tip from Jessica and her lovely watch. Time is precious and so are our memories.
These unexpected pockets of free time are sometimes a blessing meaning you don’t have to rush about and can do other things instead. I love all the extra hours on the watch, if only we had them. I hope Mother’s Day went by gently for you.
That watch is so precious. She was a smart and thoughtful girl. I am very sorry for your loss. xx
Well done to Sophie for her performance.
I absolutely hate it when plans are cancelled and you are on the way, but it sounds like you made the best of it. Your watch from Jessica is really lovely. I am sending positive thoughts for you.