The storm isn’t raging quite so fiercely this week as it was last week. I’ve been trying to be gentle with myself; to let myself feel what I need to feel, to do what I need to do to make the days a little easier (even if that ends up being turkey drummers, chips and spaghetti hoops for dinner again!) and to ease a little of the pressure I tend to put on myself. I’m trying to be gentler with my words too – I’m conscious that my grief often manifests as anger and when hubby and myself are both feeling exhausted and overwhelmed, anger really doesn’t help either of us.
I had a nice long chat and a good cry over the phone with my mum during the week which helped a lot. My mum really is amazing at times when it comes to knowing the right thing to say. She’s always been wonderful at being there and supporting us, especially in those first weeks after Jessica died when I really don’t think we’d have got through it without her. It’s so hard not being able to see her in person but I’m thankful that we can at least talk over Facetime each day and see each other that way.
Things that have made me smile this week
- A short clip of Sophie at Halo being featured in the video for this year’s Children in Need single. She was so excited to spot herself on the TV.
- Being sent a beautiful bouquet of flowers from my in-laws after a tough week.
- Going for walks around Langley Park with Thomas.
- Sophie and Thomas’s new co-ordinating Hey Duggee pyjamas.
- Thomas giving the wooden carving of Jessica at her forever bed a kiss and saying “aww Jessica. Love you, Jessica.”
- Recreating the parable of the Good Samaritan in Playmobil for this week’s church service.