Friday Focus 20/11/20 – Gentle

The storm isn’t raging quite so fiercely this week as it was last week. I’ve been trying to be gentle with myself; to let myself feel what I need to feel, to do what I need to do to make the days a little easier (even if that ends up being turkey drummers, chips and spaghetti hoops for dinner again!) and to ease a little of the pressure I tend to put on myself. I’m trying to be gentler with my words too – I’m conscious that my grief often manifests as anger and when hubby and myself are both feeling exhausted and overwhelmed, anger really doesn’t help either of us.


The word 'gentle'


I had a nice long chat and a good cry over the phone with my mum during the week which helped a lot. My mum really is amazing at times when it comes to knowing the right thing to say. She’s always been wonderful at being there and supporting us, especially in those first weeks after Jessica died when I really don’t think we’d have got through it without her. It’s so hard not being able to see her in person but I’m thankful that we can at least talk over Facetime each day and see each other that way.


Things that have made me smile this week

  • A short clip of Sophie at Halo being featured in the video for this year’s Children in Need single. She was so excited to spot herself on the TV.

Sophie and Thomas looking at the TV which shows a clip of Sophie pressing her hand on the worry plaque on the tree in Halo's garden


  • Being sent a beautiful bouquet of flowers from my in-laws after a tough week.


  • Going for walks around Langley Park with Thomas.


Thomas outside at Langley Park in his puddlesuit and wellies, eating an apple


  • Sophie and Thomas’s new co-ordinating Hey Duggee pyjamas.


Sophie and Thomas wearing 'Hey Duggee' pyjamas


  • Thomas giving the wooden carving of Jessica at her forever bed a kiss and saying “aww Jessica. Love you, Jessica.”


Thomas kissing the wooden carving of Jessica at her forever bed


  • Recreating the parable of the Good Samaritan in Playmobil for this week’s church service.


The good Samiritan recreated in Playmobil


Word of the Week linky

6 thoughts on “Friday Focus 20/11/20 – Gentle

  1. Aww my heart skipped a little beat when I saw Sophie on the Children in Need video, how lovely. Also lovely is Thomas kissing Jessica, you have such sweet and beautiful children x
    I’m glad things have been more gentle this week and that you have your Mum to help you.

    1. Thank you Anne, all three of them have been so loving. It was so lovely to spot Sophie on the video and I love how Thomas always wants to give Jessica’s carving a cuddle.

  2. I am glad you are being gentle to yourself. We sometimes need time like that and there’s nothing wrong with turkey drummers, chips and spaghetti hoops for dinner.
    I am glad you have had a good chat and cry to your mum. It sounds like she is an amazing support.
    The Hey Duggee pyjamas are adorable and Thomas kissing the wooden carving of Jessica is so sweet. x

    1. Thanks Kim. My husband certainly enjoyed his kids’ tea that evening! Having a chat to my mum helped a lot. This week’s been a little easier x

  3. Mums are brilliant. I’m so glad you are able to Facetime with yours. Also your in-laws are so kind to pick up that you were having a bad week. I do miss dressing my children in matching pjs. Only time I can get away with it now is Christmas Eve, but I know those days are numbered. The photo of Thomas taking such gentle care of Sophie’s carving is beautiful. I hope this coming week, you can continue to be gentle with yourself. #wotw

    1. Thanks Cheryl, I think it might be the first time I’ve managed co-ordinating pyjamas with Sophie and Thomas. This week has been an easier one so far.

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