Friday Focus 19/10/18 – Emotional BiBs and bobs

The last week has certainly been an eventful and emotional one. Last Friday, the winners of this year’s BiBs awards were announced on Twitter. I was so chuffed to be named as the Inspire category winner for this year. Thank you so much to everyone who voted for me. I also had a lovely comment on my blog that day from another bereaved mum who had been awake in the early hours of the morning looking for someone else who understood how she felt. I have been that mum looking online, trying to feel less alone, and I’m glad that by sharing our story, I have been able to help someone else in that way.

 

Emotional - this week's word of the week

 

The weekend was a very tough one for us as it marked six months since Jessica died. It is hard to believe that half a year has passed by without our little girl but at the same time it feels like a lifetime too. On Saturday, we went on a memorial walk at the National Memorial Arboretum with other bereaved heart parents. It felt an appropriate way to spend the half-anniversary of Jessica’s last day of life having a day focused on reflecting and remembering her.

 

Sophie sitting on hubby's shoulders looking at the hearts in the Little Hearts Matter tree

 

Yesterday, we received a letter from St Peter’s hospital informing us that they are carrying out an investigation into the care Jessica received shortly before her death. This process is expected to take about four months. One of the many questions that has gone around my head since Jessica died is whether she would still be here had she not been discharged that day. Perhaps this is a question which may now be answered. The findings from the investigation won’t bring Jessica back of course, but perhaps there are improvements in care which could be made as a result.

 

Today is another emotional day. It would have been my dad’s 85th birthday today. It is also my father-in-law’s birthday. I like to think that my dad is up there looking after Jessica for me.

 

This weekend my brothers and nephews are running the Great South Run in memory of Jessica and fundraising for Little Hearts Matter. Sophie, Thomas and I will be going down to cheer them on. I am sure it will be another emotional day for us.

 

Things that have made me smile this week

  • Catching up with a friend over a pot of tea.

 

  • Being sent a drawing that my great-niece did which included a picture of Jessica.

 

A drawing by my great-niece of various people including Jessica

 

  • A friend giving me some heart shaped pebbles as she knew the six-month milestone of losing Jessica was coming up.

 

  • Seeing Sophie and her friend officially be enrolled in Girls’ Brigade.

 

Sophie and her friend at their enrolment into Girls' Brigade

 

  • Reading with Sophie at bedtime.

 

  • Taking a walk around Denham Country Park with Thomas.

 

The woods at Denham Country Park

 

  • Getting to grips with a new way of wrapping Thomas in the sling.

 

  • Putting Sophie and Thomas in co-ordinating Toy Story sleepwear.

 

Thomas and Sophie in co-ordinating Toy Story sleepwear

 

Linking up with Raisie Bay for #WotW.

 

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13 Comments

  1. October 19, 2018 / 11:50 am

    Congrats on winning the Inspire category with the BIBS. My teen actually used the last money on her mobile phone to text and ask me if you had won. hehehe You deserve the award so much. You are an inspiration and I imagine a great help to those who are going through the same.
    I still can’t believe it is 6 months since Jessica died. I think about you, your family and Jessica often
    I do hope you get some answers about Jessica’s care.
    Sending you big hugs and lots of love x

    • Louise
      Author
      October 19, 2018 / 9:02 pm

      Aww bless her, that’s so lovely. It was such a nice surprise to see my name come up. Finding out about the investigation has unsettled me a bit over the last couple of days but hopefully it will give us some answers x

  2. October 19, 2018 / 2:04 pm

    Louise you are incredibly inspiring and I’m so glad that you won the BiBs award. It certainly has been an emotional week for you. It’s hard to believe it’s been six months already. I’m glad you had some happy emotional moments too, that walk sounds really lovely and I love the matching nightwear xxx
    Thank you for linking up to #WotW

    • Louise
      Author
      October 19, 2018 / 9:03 pm

      Thank you Anne. There have been happy moments this week as well as it being a tough one x

  3. October 19, 2018 / 4:27 pm

    What a week for you. I was so happy that you won the award, it was so well deserved. Like Kim, I think of you all often. I hope you get some answers from the hospital, even though it won’t bring Jessica back.
    Good luck to your brothers and nephews with the Great South Run! I hope they raise lots of money. x

    • Louise
      Author
      October 19, 2018 / 9:05 pm

      Thank you Sarah. I do hope we get some answers. Am looking forward to cheering my family on x

  4. October 20, 2018 / 1:35 pm

    You definitely deserved to win. Just shows you how many people you have touched with yours and Jessica’s story. Plus it still goes on, with other people, like the mother, finding your blog when they need it most. Don’t underestimate that ever. I hope the enquiry turns up something for the good. Lovely photos of Thomas and Sophie. Does he ever stop smiling? I used to love carrying my babies around in a sling. Hope you have a good week. #wotw

    • Louise
      Author
      October 20, 2018 / 8:13 pm

      Thank you Cheryl. It means a lot to be able to help others. Thomas is a very smiley boy. He does cry sometimes though! 🙂

  5. October 20, 2018 / 3:29 pm

    You are so inspiring with the wah you deal with grieve and losing a child. It must be so tough to relive the experience at the end and asking them what ifs. Sending much love to you and your family X #wotw

  6. October 21, 2018 / 9:44 am

    Congratulations Louise it was so well deserved, it just shows by how you were able to be there for that other poor mum. You have used your grief to help others which is wonderful. Well done Sophie she looks so thrilled. This week must have been so tough although I bet every week brings something new and painful. Sending love xx

    • Louise
      Author
      October 22, 2018 / 12:52 am

      Thank you Sarah. Each week does bring different things although some are easier than others x

  7. October 21, 2018 / 12:17 pm

    What a beautiful post. And what a fitting word to use – emotional. My daughter does girls brigade too so lovely to see that cute photo. #WOTW

    • Louise
      Author
      October 22, 2018 / 12:54 am

      Thank you Rebecca. Sophie loves GB, how lovely that your daughter does it too 🙂

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