I’m feeling a little drained this week. Lots of emotions swirling around making me feel emotionally drained, and a few too many balls to juggle leaving me physically drained.
It’s to be expected in some ways. We’re coming up to the fourth anniversary of Jessica’s death, which is just under a month away, and tough memories, ‘what-if’s’ and feelings of guilt have been bubbling up to the surface. I’ve also been reflecting more on them this week through a course I’m doing at church. It’s not a bad thing to bring it all up to the surface but it is draining. I know that the next few weeks are going to be tough ones but I also know that I can get through the storm.
Last week at church, we were asked what kind of animal we would like to be. My reply was that I’d like to be a hibernating bear with nothing to do but sleep. That certainly feels quite appealing at the moment!
What I’ve been grateful for this week:
- Day 70 – I am grateful for Thomas’s joy at finding ‘acorns’ (fir cones) and fallen rhododendrons while out for a walk.
- Day 71 – I am grateful that Sophie had such a fun time at her friend’s birthday party.
- Day 72 – I am grateful that Thomas has become much more interested in mark-making now that he’s realised he can make letters, words and numbers that way.
- Day 73 – I am grateful that Sophie enjoyed going on her first school trip in nearly 3 years.
- Day 74 – I am grateful for evenings when my husband is home to help in the run-up to bedtime.
- Day 75 – I am grateful for beautiful loving moments like that this.
- Day 76 – I am grateful for the restorative power of sleep.
Other things that have made me smile this week:
- Sitting outside in the sunshine and having some time for myself while Thomas was at preschool.
- Trying on costumes for the show and rehearsing in our Victorian seaside costumes. I’ll be wearing a corset in the show and I have to admit I love the way it pulls everything in and makes me stand up straight.
- Getting washing out on the line.
- Being able to shed the coat one afternoon on the school run this week.
Louise,
This is a very turbulent time for all sorts of reasons (I don’t need to list them), so it’s not surprising that you feel drained. Yes, you can “get through the storm”.
“the restorative power of sleep” — Yes!! It’s the great open secret. Thomas looks as though he enjoys his sleep, and why not?
The mild days and the sunshine can make most things seem just that bit better.
Thank you, yes mild days and sunshine do make things feel a little easier sometimes.
Sending love and hugs. So sorry you are feeling drained. It is hard to believe that it’s the coming up to the 4th anniversary of Jessica’s death. I still think of her all of the time.
Lovely photos. How lovely to be able to sit outside and have some time to yourself. I love your costume for the show, what fun. x
Thank you Kim, it’s such a tough time of year.
First of all, I love your costume, you look fantastic!
Now, you have rode this storm before and I know it will never get any easier, but you will come out the other side. Jessica will always be in my heart and thoughts even though I never met her. We were talking about what animals we would be this week too. We had some interesting combinations.
Thank you Anne. It means a lot that Jessica is in your heart and thoughts even though you never met her.
I know the pain of grief only too well. You are never alone. Last Sunday I cried almost all day after a sleepless night of thinking about my son and the what ifs etc.
This season will linger, but it too will pass.
Your costume looks amazing and the look of that sunny spot makes me a tiny bit jealous.
Sending best wishes for a manageable week ahead.
I’m sorry that you know that pain too. I think it does help knowing that we will ride the storm and it will ease again.
Sending love for the coming weeks. I think Jessica is in a lot of people’s thoughts who never even knew her, including my own.
Getting some time to yourself and especially outside is one of the most restorative things ever. Even 10 minutes can feel like a holiday 🙂
Thank you Karen. It does help when I can get some time for myself.
Sorry to hear you are feeling drained but can totally understand the feelings, especially with the anniversary of Jessicas death coming up, sending love to you and your family X #mmbc
Thank you Sam
So sorry to hear you have been feeling drained, it must be so hard with the anniversary coming up.
Lovely pictures, your costume looks great.
Thank you Fozia, it’s a tough time of year.
Love the photo of you in your seaside bathing costumes. no wonder you’re feeling drained, thinking of you all over the next few weeks, i’ve no idea how hard this is for you all.
Thank you Suzanne.
I know that feeling, I am feeling drained too, but mostly because I am working too many hours and stressing over something that I cannot change. Hope you are feeling happier this week
Thank you, hope that you’re feeling less drained this week as well.
Fab seaside costume. Glad Sophie enjoyed her school trip but I’m sorry to hear that your word for the week is drained. 🙁 #project365
Thanks Laura.