Friday Focus 18/02/22 – Out-of-sorts

I’ve been a bit out-of-sorts this week. Just feeling tired, and some things have been getting to me more than they would do usually. One of those weeks where grief has been hitting hard again. I miss Jessica every day but some days feel much harder than others, and there are times when that ever-present ache of longing for her just feels so very hard to endure. I don’t think there’s been any specific trigger for it – it’s just the nature of grief to come and go like this. I’m just doing my best to be kind to myself right now, allow grief the time and space it needs and to not overload myself too much.


The words 'out-of-sorts'



What I’ve been grateful for this week:


Thomas playing on the water wall at Tots Go Wild with his godmother looking on; me, Sophie and Thomas with Sabrina from The Mummy Stylist and her two children in Uxbridge; Sophie and Thomas sitting at a table in a pub with their cousins; pink blossom flowers and buds on a tree; Sophie's Lego creation of a cake counter with a freezer next to it; daffodils at Jessica's forever bed; Sophie pushing a very happy Thomas on the swing - "#365daysofgratitude 2022 - Week 7"


  • Day 42 – I am grateful for a lovely morning with Thomas’s godmother coming along to Tots Go Wild with us, and for a good chat afterwards over lunch and a walk.


  • Day 43 – I am grateful for family time getting out and about, although we gave up on the treasure trail we were following less than halfway through it! Was lovely to bump into The Mummy Stylist while out though (and thanks for sending over the photo too!)


  • Day 44 – I am grateful for a visit from cousins and a lovely family meal together.


  • Day 45 – I am grateful for blossom starting to appear on the trees.


  • Day 46 – I am grateful for Sophie’s creativity and imagination when creating her own little worlds with Lego. There are always such lovely little details to look at each time she makes something.


  • Day 47 – I am grateful for a quiet morning and time to myself just sitting with Jessica.


  • Day 48 – I am grateful for a quiet evening and the opportunity to have an after-school trip to the park.



Other things that have made me smile this week:


The home page of the new Little Hearts Matter website with a photo of 'Jessica has a heart operation' on the bottom left corner


  • Rehearsing the seaside medley for the music hall show.


  • Going for a walk around Herschel Park with Thomas.


Thomas feeding pigeons at Herschel Park


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18 thoughts on “Friday Focus 18/02/22 – Out-of-sorts

  1. I’m sorry you’ve been feeling out of sorts, grief never stops, but it’s good that you can have peaceful happy times in-between. I can’t imagine that Jessica would ever want you to feel sad, but it’s only natural. x

    1. Thank you Anne. I know Jessica wouldn’t want me to be sad. I’ve learned now to stop and give grief the space it needs which helps make it more bearable – as does reframing it as time focusing my attention on Jessica.

  2. Sorry to hear this week’s been a tough one. It looks like there have been some lovely high points, and it’s always good to take the time you need for grief

  3. So sorry to read you are feeling out of sorts at the moment. Don’t be too hard on yourself take the time you need. Sending hugs. It is great that you found moments to be grateful for this week. I love that a book you wrote is helping others too #WotW

  4. Sorry to hear you’re feeling out of sorts, I too do sometimes but for different reasons to yours. Surrounding yourself with people and getting out and about is always good and bumping into a friend is always a bonus

  5. Sorry to hear you are feeling out of sorts, I hope you are still managing to take time for yourself. Looks like there have been some good points this week to x

  6. Sorry that you have felt out of sorts this week, I don’t think the dull weather helps with emotion. I hope all of the positives identified in this post lift you a little. #project365

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