I’ve been a bit out-of-sorts this week. Just feeling tired, and some things have been getting to me more than they would do usually. One of those weeks where grief has been hitting hard again. I miss Jessica every day but some days feel much harder than others, and there are times when that ever-present ache of longing for her just feels so very hard to endure. I don’t think there’s been any specific trigger for it – it’s just the nature of grief to come and go like this. I’m just doing my best to be kind to myself right now, allow grief the time and space it needs and to not overload myself too much.
What I’ve been grateful for this week:
- Day 42 – I am grateful for a lovely morning with Thomas’s godmother coming along to Tots Go Wild with us, and for a good chat afterwards over lunch and a walk.
- Day 43 – I am grateful for family time getting out and about, although we gave up on the treasure trail we were following less than halfway through it! Was lovely to bump into The Mummy Stylist while out though (and thanks for sending over the photo too!)
- Day 44 – I am grateful for a visit from cousins and a lovely family meal together.
- Day 45 – I am grateful for blossom starting to appear on the trees.
- Day 46 – I am grateful for Sophie’s creativity and imagination when creating her own little worlds with Lego. There are always such lovely little details to look at each time she makes something.
- Day 47 – I am grateful for a quiet morning and time to myself just sitting with Jessica.
- Day 48 – I am grateful for a quiet evening and the opportunity to have an after-school trip to the park.
Other things that have made me smile this week:
- Spotting a photo of the book I wrote to help prepare Jessica for her heart surgery on the homepage of the new Little Heart’s Matter website. So glad that it is still helping other heart children.
- Rehearsing the seaside medley for the music hall show.
- Going for a walk around Herschel Park with Thomas.
I’m sorry you’ve been feeling out of sorts, grief never stops, but it’s good that you can have peaceful happy times in-between. I can’t imagine that Jessica would ever want you to feel sad, but it’s only natural. x
Thank you Anne. I know Jessica wouldn’t want me to be sad. I’ve learned now to stop and give grief the space it needs which helps make it more bearable – as does reframing it as time focusing my attention on Jessica.
Sending love and hugs. It sounds like a tough week. I hope things feel better soon. It looks like you have had lots of fun moments too. x
Thanks Kim. There have been fun moments too.
Sorry to hear this week’s been a tough one. It looks like there have been some lovely high points, and it’s always good to take the time you need for grief
Thank you – it does make it easier to deal with if I allow space for grief.
Sorry to hear that you are feeling out of sorts, after such a good week last week. Herschel Park looks lovely
Thank you. Herschel Park is a lovely place to explore.
So sorry to read you are feeling out of sorts at the moment. Don’t be too hard on yourself take the time you need. Sending hugs. It is great that you found moments to be grateful for this week. I love that a book you wrote is helping others too #WotW
Thank you, it’s lovely to know that Jessica’s book helps other heart children too.
Sorry to hear you’re feeling out of sorts, I too do sometimes but for different reasons to yours. Surrounding yourself with people and getting out and about is always good and bumping into a friend is always a bonus
Getting out and about certainly helps a lot.
Hope you’re taking good care of yourself. Love the Lego creation, it’s always so lovely to see what children can make for themselves isn’t it #365
Thank you. It is lovely to see that creativity with making Lego models.
Sorry to hear you are feeling out of sorts, I hope you are still managing to take time for yourself. Looks like there have been some good points this week to x
Thank you, this week has been a better one for taking some time for myself.
Sorry that you have felt out of sorts this week, I don’t think the dull weather helps with emotion. I hope all of the positives identified in this post lift you a little. #project365
Thank you, it does help to look for the positives.