It’s been so lovely to have the sunshine this week, especially for my birthday barbecue at the weekend. It was so lovely to be able to celebrate my birthday with some of my friends and Sophie had a lovely time playing games with the other children in Grandma and Grandad’s garden. We over-catered a bit on the drinks and bread rolls though. I’ve been busy trying to use up the leftovers – we’ve had “party tea” a couple of times with little filled rolls; I’ve made bread and butter pudding and we have croutons and breadcrumbs in the freezer. We’ll gradually work through some of the drinks at home but most of them will keep in the garage ready for Thomas’s and hubby’s birthdays later in the summer.
We’ve been making the most of the sunshine and enjoyed some after-school trips to the park. I’ve also enjoyed being able to get lots of washing out on the line!
I think the sunshine has also helped ease some of the up and down emotions this week too. Tomorrow is the last of the first anniversaries – the anniversary of Jessica’s funeral. It has been a year today since I last looked at my beautiful girl; the last time I held her hand and kissed her forehead. I often wonder how on earth I have survived the last year without Jessica. There are days when it feels unbearably hard, but all we can do is take it moment by moment. Some days it has been a case of taking it second by second – riding the storms when they come and not fighting the emotions. I suspect that the next few days will be tough. We will get through them as we always do though – one step at a time. We’re hosting a coffee morning at church in aid of Little Hearts Matter and I’m doing a flower arrangement at church in memory of Jessica. It’ll keep us distracted and focused on doing something positive at least.
Things that have made me smile this week
- Sophie getting an award of the week for keeping her work neat and tidy.
- Being given a paper doll that Jessica made and a photo of her with her Girls’ Brigade friends that had been on the display board in the Explorers’ room.
- Watching Sophie having fun taking part in her first Girls’ Brigade sports day. It brought back some lovely memories from Jessica’s Girls’ Brigade sports day too. At the start of the afternoon, a pretty blue butterfly fluttered around the girls from Jessica’s and Sophie’s company. They decided that it was Jessica coming to say hello and reminding them that she was still part of their group.
- Sophie getting to wear summer dresses to school.
- Seeing the first rose in bloom in the garden. I took it to GreenAcres later that day along with some of my birthday flowers for Jessica.
- Sophie’s delight at having a play date with her best friend from preschool.
- The fuzzy baby hair on the back of Thomas’s head.
- Bumping into one of the mums I was friendly with at Tiny Talk when Jessica was a toddler and catching up with her.
- Enjoying an ice-cream after school and seeing the rhododendrons in bloom at Langley Park.