This time of year is all about transitions. Transition day at school with Sophie and Thomas spending an afternoon in Year 4 and reception. They both enjoyed their time in the new classrooms. Thomas loved it so much that we had a rather epic tantrum afterwards because he wanted to go back and Mummy was clearly mean because she wouldn’t take him back to his new class. I guess that’s a good sign in some respects!
This evening is the Girls’ (and Boys’!) Brigade awards evening when Sophie will be promoted from the Explorers section into the Juniors section. Another transition; another reminder that my baby girl is growing up and it really doesn’t feel so very long ago that she was an adorable four-year old starting in Explorers with a proud big sister telling me that she would look after Sophie and help show her what to do.
Transitions have always been a bittersweet part of parenting, but they’re especially painful as a bereaved parent. They bring back into sharp focus that reminder that time keeps moving us further away from life with Jessica; the reminder that there is a little girl who is not moving on to a new school year, not waiting in the Junior section at Girls’ Brigade for her little sister to join her. This year that ache is also exacerbated by the fact that these transitions also mark the end of an era of parenting for us, the end of the preschool days.
The Girls’ Brigade transition is one that I’m finding especially hard. I never got to experience my girls at school together and chances are, I now never will have that experience of two children at the same school. Seeing them together in their Girls’ Brigade uniforms was the nearest I ever got to that kind of experience. Those memories of Jessica and Sophie being in Explorers together are particularly precious ones. Explorers is the section where Sophie and Jessica were together and it breaks my heart that she is moving into Juniors without her big sister there to welcome her. As you can imagine, I’m a bit of a mess of emotions at the moment.
What I’ve been grateful for over the past two weeks:
- Day 175 – I am grateful for the return of the school summer fayre.
- Day 176 – I am grateful that Sophie is making friends at her dance festivals.
- Day 177 – I am grateful for the silly, fun moments of parenthood.
- Day 178 – I am grateful for another lovely selection of dance festival photos. [photo credit – Spotlight Photo Events]
- Day 179 – I am grateful that Thomas enjoyed being at a toddler group this morning as his preschool session was changed to an afternoon one. Used to go to this group regularly when the girls were small and it was nice to be back once more.
- Day 180 – I am grateful for yummy salads.
- Day 181 – I am grateful that I’m halfway to achieving my #1000hoursoutside goal for 2022.
- Day 182 – I am grateful for being able to watch Sophie taking part in the Brigades’ display.
- Day 183 – I am grateful for a lovely afternoon catching up with friends.
- Day 184 – I am grateful for bedtime!
- Day 185 – I am grateful for hair dye.
- Day 186 – I am grateful that Sophie and Thomas enjoyed their afternoon in their new classes.
- Day 187 – I am grateful for a little bit of quiet time for me.
- Day 188 – I am grateful for the moments when this little boy is just adorable.
Other things that have made me smile over the past two weeks:
- Hunting for fairies at forest school.
- Sophie getting a gold medal for her tap solo.
- Releasing our butterflies. Sophie loved it so much that we’ve got another pot of caterpillars so we can do it all again.