We’ve been getting outdoors more this week as Sophie and I have been joining in with #30DaysWild for the second year. I wasn’t sure if I would feel able to do it this year but having something to focus on has been helpful. It has encouraged me to get out and do something fun with Sophie even on the days when everything feels too much and I just want to run away and hide. Last year, I blogged each day about the activities that we were doing. This time, I’m just posting on Instagram each day and will be doing a weekly update instead which is more manageable.
Hubby and I visited Jessica’s forever bed without Sophie this week. We brought some of the roses that Jessica loved from the garden and read one of the Charlie and Lola stories. It was good to be able to spend as much time as we needed to there without having to be sensitive to Sophie’s tolerance levels.
Sophie has been talking more about Jessica. This week she said that she wishes we were still a whole family and that Jessica could be here when Peanut arrives, but that Jessica couldn’t be with us anymore because Jessica is with God. She sat and cuddled the cushion I made with Jessica’s name on and had a big cry because she misses her sister. It is hard to see her so upset, but it’s so important that she’s able to express those feelings too. It makes me realise too just how much she does understand about Jessica’s death.
Things that have made me smile this week
- Watching a video clip of a two and a half year old Jessica putting together her number turtles. It was such a beautiful moment to capture. She loved spotting numbers when we were out and about at that age.
- Sophie getting to wear one of the show costumes at her ballet class (despite the fact that she’s not doing the show this year as it clashes with the Girls’ Brigade Display).
- Seeing one of the Lego Ninjago characters while out shopping.
- Free fairground rides in town at the weekend.
- Sophie playing with bubbles in the garden.
- A meal with my family to celebrate my brother’s 50th birthday.
- Catching up with friends and watching Sophie having fun with other children in the paddling pool.
- Seeing the Pretty Jessica roses in bloom in the garden.
- Doing a bicycle craft with Sophie.
- Making bird feeders from toilet roll tubes.
- Pretty new clothes for Sophie from my mum and my sister.
What a lovely video of Jessica, precious memories of your darling girl. She’ll always be with you even if you miss holding her. I adore Sophie’s new dress, how beautiful she looks. And talking about beautiful, you are too. I love the photo of you with your brother and peanut. Sending love, I think of you all often xx
That video of Jessica is adorable. Such an amazing little girl. I love Sophie’s new dress! Great that you’re getting outdoors to do 30 days wild, such a fab little challenge.
Nat.x
Such a lovely video, so sweet to watch. And as you say, it’s good that Sophie’s expressing her feelings about Jessica, though I’m sure it must be painful to see her struggling. It’s been a better week for getting outside, glad you’ve managed to enjoy it with Sophie x Thanks for sharing with #WotW
It sounds like having something to focus on has really helped. #30DaysWild sounds like a great project.
It’s good that Sophie has been talking more about Jessica….I can’t imagine how hard it is. Jessica was such a special girl.x
It’s lovey that you got to spend time at Jessica’s forever bed, it must be very comforting to be able to read to her and feel close to her. Sophie is doing so well, it’s hard enough for us a adults to express our feelings so it’s such a good thing that she is talking about Jessica and how she feels. 30 days wild sounds like lots of fun, I’ve been enjoying seeing the photo’s on your instagram. Sending love as always x
I know it must be hard for you seeing Sophie upset, but it is great that she is expressing her feelings and comprehending also; children are so perceptive, more so than we even think at times. Being outdoors and taking part in 30 Days Wild sounds like a great idea, giving focus. #WotW
Ah Louise it must be so so hard for you all, your grief will all be so different. The video is just beautiful Jessica was a beautiful little girl. xx