It’s been a quiet half-term for us. Normally I would have filled the week and enjoyed getting out and about, but I’ve just not had the energy to do so. We’ve had a couple of short trips out, but otherwise have mostly stayed at home. I’m acutely aware of how quiet the house is with just Sophie. I miss the chatter between Sophie and Jessica and the way they used to play so happily together. Sophie is starting to play more with the toys that she and Jessica loved and I’m seeing a little more imaginative play again as she chats away to herself. It’s nice to see her starting to lose herself in play again even though it does make my heart ache for those moments when she and her sister would play together.
We visited Jessica’s grave for the first time last weekend. Sophie asked quite a few questions which showed that she did understand about Jessica being buried there. After a few minutes there, she wanted to go back to the car. Had she not been with us, we probably would have stayed longer but we felt it was best not to push Sophie beyond her comfort levels. She did have a big cry on the way back to the car and told us she missed Jessica. She doesn’t often cry for her sister, but I think it was good for her to be able to do so. Since then, she has been talking a little more about Jessica which has been nice to hear.
Things that have made me smile this week
- Spending time with Godmummy Katy and watching Sophie having fun with her at soft play.
- My friend Denise hosting a coffee morning in aid of Little Hearts Matter and managing to raise £118. Sophie loved helping out, especially with doing the washing up!
- Sophie gathering up fallen rhododendron blooms on a walk around Black Park.
- Raiding hubby’s wardrobe now that most of mine no longer fits and realising that men’s shorts are so much more comfortable than women’s ones. Not to mention the lovely deep pockets that they have.
- Watching Sophie play with Playmobil although I did shed a tear too when I saw how she’d set up the Playmobil hospital in just the same way that Jessica used to.
- Finding one of Jessica’s drawings while tidying up.
- Sophie spotting a hedgehog in the garden.
- Hearing Sophie laughing as she played tag with Daddy.
- Seeing the Flying Scotsman pass through our nearest train station.