For three years, I have taken part in a daily gratitude challenge, sharing a photo of one thing I am thankful for each day on Instagram. There have been days when finding little things to be grateful for has been very easy to do and others when it has been incredibly hard. Life as a bereaved parent is quite a rollercoaster at times. There have been many moments when I don’t feel grateful for anything at all – just broken and bruised. However, looking for those little moments has helped me even on the darkest of days. Hard though it may be at times, I have always managed to find something to be thankful for.
My eldest daughter Jessica was an inspiration to me throughout her short life. She had so much strength and such a wonderful zest for life. Her godmother described her once as a “joy carrier” and it was the perfect description for her. She was a little ray of sunshine, full of smiles and gave joy to all who knew her. I am, and will always be, grateful to be her mummy. She taught me to enjoy the little moments and to make the most of everyday because tomorrow is never promised. I continue with this challenge in honour of my beautiful brave girl.
If you would like to join me in a daily gratitude challenge for 2019, do feel free to use the hashtag #LHBL365daysofgratitude2019 on Instagram so I can find your posts there.
Day 41 – I am grateful that the sun came out for a while during our walk around West Wycombe Park. We were joining in with the Child Bereavement UK snowdrop walk and Sophie planted a snowdrop in memory of Jessica.
Day 42 – I am grateful that Thomas is getting more tummy time thanks to being able to roll over from his back on to his front now.
Day 43 – I am grateful for a quiet day at home. Sophie has been unwell and home from school over the last couple of days but perked up a bit this afternoon. Hopefully she’ll be better tomorrow.
Day 44 – I am grateful that getting out for a walk and exploring some new footpaths helped me feel better. This morning was a tough one and the ache of missing my big girl was almost unbearable. Sometimes getting out for a walk helps make the pain bearable again.
Day 45 – I am grateful for blankets and paracetamol. Sophie has shared her bug with me and left me feeling all achy and shivery. Am also flying solo until tomorrow so not the best timing! On the plus side, the kids have been so good and I’ve mostly been able to stayed glued to the sofa.
Day 46 – I am grateful that Sophie and I managed to make the dinosaur head she wanted for Dino Day especially as I only remembered on Wednesday evening. It was cutting it fine for a papier-mâché construction (we had to use a fan to speed up the drying process) and it could have done with another layer but she was pleased with it.
Day 47 – I am grateful for some relaxing time arranging the flowers for church. It provided a brief period of calm in what has been a rather stormy day on the grief front.