I’ve had another week of flying solo but on the whole I’ve been coping well with it. There are definitely times when I feel like I do all the essential chores to the soundtrack of Thomas crying but on the whole, I’ve been getting to grips with juggling it all. The house is slightly less chaotic than last week and we’re all managing to be fed and dressed each day which is always good!
This week has also been about coping with memories that have made the ache of missing Jessica particularly strong this week. The end of summer is always a tough time for me emotionally, but even more so this year. The August bank holiday has always been about family time together and enjoying fun days out. We made so many happy memories with Jessica and Sophie over the last few years, and have been making new ones with Sophie and Thomas this year but there have been many tears shed too and moments when the longing for our biggest girl feels almost unbearable.
We’re also coming up to a particularly tough milestone – Jessica’s 7th birthday – the first one without her. It is also the day that Sophie starts school so will be a very emotional one for us. I will be baking a birthday cake for my big girl and we will take it to GreenAcres after Sophie comes home from school so that we can sit with Jessica and remember her on her birthday.
Things that have made me smile this week
- Sitting in a stationary car with hubby listening to the overture from Candide which started playing on the radio just as we pulled up. It’s one of our favourite pieces of music so we couldn’t possibly leave the car until it had finished!
- Surprising Sophie with a trip to see PAW Patrol Live.
- Catching up with two of my close friends – one in person, one over the phone – and asking them to be Thomas’s godparents too as they’ve been such wonderful godparents to Jessica and Sophie.
- Spending time with friends at their summer party and them getting to meet Thomas for the first time.
- Managing to tick off another 17 sculptures on the Gromit Unleashed 2 trail – just 7 more to find!
- Thomas becoming more alert and really looking around at things. Some of his facial expressions make me laugh. I really love the way he is starting to look at me now and the little smiles he is starting to give.
- An afternoon at Iver Environment Centre making a flowery hat with Sophie.