I’d have liked to have come up with a positive word this week after the last couple of weeks but to be honest, right now I’m just trying to get through each day as best I can. Trying to find little moments of positivity where I can in amongst yet another week where life has felt unendurably hard at times. I’m trying to see a glimmer of light at the end of this particular tunnel. I know it’s there. I just have to keep moving forward and hoping that the darkness will start to lift soon.
Thomas has been rather trying this week, particularly on the potty training front. He was doing really well last week but this week has felt like we’re starting all over again. We’ve come close to running out of dry clothes, not to mention patience with it all on my part. Again, I know that this will pass and he will get there but my goodness, it’s hard work right now.
I’ve also been trying to find backups of my documents to transfer to my new computer as my husband was unable to retrieve all the data off my old hard drive. Thankfully all the important things (such as photos and videos of Jessica) were backed up elsewhere and most of my day-to-day files are backed up on the cloud so I haven’t lost too much data.
What I’ve been grateful for this week:
- Day 260 – I am grateful for Grandma looking after Thomas so I could go and give blood.
- Day 261 – I am grateful to everyone who came along to our coffee morning at church and helped us raise £45 for Little Hearts Matter.
- Day 262 – I am grateful for hugs from friends and a little note left on the church piano for me at the start of today’s service. I’m struggling a lot with grief at the moment but having that support is helping make things feel a little more bearable. Thank you to everyone who has been willing to sit with me this morning and understand that while some things cannot be fixed, just being there is helpful.
- Day 263 – I am grateful for a gentle day – time for myself this morning, lunch at the HALO play café with a friend while Thomas enjoyed the soft play and finishing a good book once the children were in bed. The storms will come again, but today is a reminder that there are also moments of calm in the storms of grief and moments of sunshine. Just have to keep taking it moment by moment.
- Day 264 – I am grateful that Thomas slept in a bit and woke me at 6am instead of 5am as he has been doing recently. Fingers crossed it was due to switching him back to long-sleeved pyjamas for bedtime and not just a one-off.
- Day 265 – I am grateful for pretty paper for writing letters to friends.
- Day 266 – I am grateful for all the props that help make our Thursday activities so much fun.
Other things that have made me smile this week:
- Jessica’s butterfly being moved from the Explorers room at Girls’ Brigade into the Juniors room as she would have now been in the Juniors section.
- A boat trip on the Thames with family.
Trying is a good word. All you can do is try.
Oh no, that is a shame about Thomas. It sounds frustrating but you are right it will pass, it’s just a phase. Hang on in there.
I am glad you didn’t lose too much off your old computer.
Fab photos. That is so sweet about Jessica’s butterfly being moved. x
Thanks Kim. It meant so much to know that Jessica is still a part of Girls’ Brigade x
Sometimes ‘trying’ is the best we can do, and it is a positive word. I hated potty training with all of mine, I think more than sleepless nights. I’m sure the cloud will lift soon and I’ve just made a donation to Little Hearts Matters in memory of Jessica. x
Thank you so much Anne, that is really lovely of you x
All you can do sometimes is try. Jessica’s butterfly being moved up to the juniors section is a lovely thing. Bless Thomas, he’ll get there. Sending a hug
Thank you. This week has been better so far on the potty training front so fingers crossed!
Keep trying dear. And remember to laugh, smile and sing to lift your mood too! Oh, and dance…when no one is watching. That helps me too. In a few years hopefully you won’t remember the potty training days.❤️
Sending virtual hugs for brighter and happier days.
Thank you, virtual hugs are always appreciated.
Sorry you’re having a hard time with everything at the moment. I’m glad you’ve got people around you to support and listen. Good luck with Thomas’ potty training. I know that pain. We had to give up for a few months with N, until he just decided to do it himself.
Thanks Emma. This week has been better on the potty training front so hopefully it was just a blip.
I think trying is a very positive word. Well done for getting through what sounds like a very testing week.
Your friends at church sound so lovely, it’s nice to have that support.
The boat trip on the Thames sounds like a nice way to spend some time together.
I hope next week is kinder to you. x
Thank you Jayne. I do have lovely friends at church and they are so supportive which helps.
Trying is a wonderful word and it is positive in itself. Saying a prayer this new week will be less trying and less stress. #MMBC
Thanks Carol, it’s been a better one so far.
I hope you have a better week Louise. Sending hugs of support too. Your blogpost really moved me – the note on the piano is a lovely gesture and moving Jessica’s butterfly is such a caring, thoughtful thing to do.
Take good care.
#MMBC
Thank you Catherine. It really touched me to know that Jessica is part of Girls’ Brigade still and included in some way.
Oh dear re the potty training. Glad you managed not to lose too much data. I have backups everywhere. Well done with the giving blood
Thank you. Thankfully the potty training has improved again.
Sorry, it’s been a tough week for you. You have reminded me to do some backups, I am glad you did not lose too much. So lovely that they are moving Jessica’s butterfly to the Junior room. Well done on giving blood. Hope the potty training was better this week. I remember getting frustrated with it too.
Thank you, potty training is much improved.
My heart goes to you. Your post is full of sadness, and I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling. Lovely little jestures of kindness from your friends.
You’re so wonderful to give blood, even if your heart is breaking, and you are going through a difficult patch. The toilet training is frustrating, but there are always setbacks. Hope Thomas will sleep better and not get up so early. Does he go to bed very early to get up at 5am?
Glad to hear you didn’t lose much data from your laptop.
Thank you, last month was really tough but thankfully this month has felt easier. Possibly also helped by Thomas sleeping in a little later again! Not sure what caused the phase of getting up early – his bedtime is usually around 7.30pm-8pm so not that early.
Sorry to hear that Thomas is struggling with the potty training, hopefully it is just a blip and he gets back on track. Well done on raising money with your coffee morning, I hope this week is kinder to you x
Thanks Kara. Potty training has improved again so hopefully it was just a blip.
I’m so sorry to hear that things are still overwhelming for you at the moment. I hope the little moments of hope continue to sustain you. #project365
Thank you Laura, the last couple of weeks have been a little easier.
How lovely that they moved Jessica’s butterfly, really lovely of them.
Sounds like you are surrounded by lots of love and friendship what what with the butterfly and note on the piano.
I feel your pain on potty Training. George has been dry for months and had an accidents friday and Saturday due to being stubborn he refused to sit on the toilet seat at pre school and for a grandparent!
Oh it is so frustrating when they go backwards with the potty training isn’t it? We seem to be back on track again thankfully. Hope George gets back on track again soon.