We enjoyed a couple of ‘firsts’ this week with venturing out and about. Last weekend, we enjoyed a family day out at Chiltern Open Air Museum – our first family day out in more than five months. It felt so good to pack a picnic and spend an afternoon out of the house in one of our favourite places.
We’ve not ventured out all that much since restrictions have eased – I get quite anxious over people not making an effort to socially distance and have been reluctant to go anywhere where it might be busy, Thankfully there is plenty of space at the open air museum to make social distancing easy and most other families we encountered were considerate with regards to this.
This week we’ve also ventured out to the park where the children were very happy to be able to use the playground for the first time since lockdown. It was fairly quiet when we visited which made it easier too.
The other first this week wasn’t so nice – experiencing my first panic attack in the early hours of Saturday morning. I had some chest pain (which turned out to be muscular and probably due to holding Thomas awkwardly during his earlier feed on the left side) but I think the combination of that coming at the same time of night and on the same day of the week as the night Jessica died was what then triggered the palpitations and light-headedness. It was quite scary and for a while I genuinely thought history was about to repeat itself. The paramedics who came out were very lovely and reassuring and thankfully the ECG they did was normal, and everything else calmed back down soon after their arrival. I felt quite wobbly for the rest of that day, but took things easy and by Sunday was feeling much better again.
Things that have made me smile this week
- Playing board games with Sophie.
- Having a virtual parade service at church and seeing so many members of our Girls’ and Boys’ Brigade joining in.
- Thomas watching the video of Jessica counting her number turtles and trying to copy her.
- Watching our caterpillars growing each day.
- Chatting with Sophie about some of her memories of Jessica.
- Sophie writing that her favourite thing about home learning was “learning with my mummy and my daddy.”
- Popping over to school at home time and being able to say thank you and goodbye to Sophie’s reception teacher and headteacher at the school gate as they are both leaving the school.