Friday Focus 13/01/2023 – Milestone

Today is a milestone moment on our grief journey as Thomas reaches the exact age Sophie was when Jessica died. From now on, Sophie and Thomas will have had more time with each other than Sophie and Jessica had together. Like many of the other milestones that we’ve encountered since Jessica died, it’s one that I’ve been acutely aware of in the days leading up to it and struggled with. Jessica is always so very much missed and times like this bring home the realisation once more of all the moments she’s missed out on with her siblings.


The word 'milestone' with a doodle of Jessica and Sophie holding hands above the 'es' and a doodle of Sophie and Thomas holding hands above the 'on'


I’ve learned over the last few years to give grief space at times like this. I’ve been trying to be gentle with myself this week and taking time out where I can. It’s been a fairly busy week, but there’s been a reasonable balance between being able to embrace the distraction of the busyness and being able to pull back and give myself space.



What I’ve been grateful for this week:


Cheese scones cooling on a wire rack; Sophie and Thomas walking along a canal tow path next to a lock; a ukulele on top of a page of sheet music; Sophie striking a pose in her tap lesson; Thomas pointing to the sticker on his top that he got at the dentist; chocolate biscuits on a plate; Sophie in a dance post holding one foot up behind her - "#365daysofgratitude 2023 - Week 2"


  • Day 6 – I am grateful for freshly baked cheese scones.


  • Day 7 – I am grateful for an afternoon spent out and about following a treasure trail with the children so that my husband could have space to do some DIY jobs at home.


  • Day 8 – I am grateful that my Drowsy Chaperone character has encouraged me to learn a new instrument.


  • Day 9 – I am grateful that Sophie has enjoyed getting back to dance lessons again today.


  • Day 10 – I am grateful for a good check-up at the dentist for Sophie and Thomas.


  • Day 11 – I am grateful for a plentiful supply of nice biscuits at this evening’s meeting.


  • Day 12 – I am grateful for Sophie’s love of dance and the joy of seeing her grow and improve as a dancer.



Other things that have made me smile this week:

  • Thomas singing the alphabet song whilst jumping on the letters on the alphabet caterpillar at the playground.


Thomas at the playground standing on an alphabet caterpillar painted on the ground


  • Sophie and Thomas making each other giggle at bedtime.


Sophie hugging Thomas at bedtime


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23 thoughts on “Friday Focus 13/01/2023 – Milestone

  1. It’s good to give yourself time and space amongst all the busy. On a lighter note cheese scones are always good and a decent selection of biscuits at a meeting is a bonus too!

  2. It is so bittersweet about the milestone. Thinking of you and your family.
    Those scones look so good and well done Sophie with her dancing. She looks a natural.

    1. Thank you Kim. It’s lovely to watch Sophie with her dancing – she really does enjoy it and she works so hard with it too.

  3. Grief milestones are always hard but it’s good you know how to be gentle on yourself. I love Sophie’s dancing photos, she really has some talent. x

    1. Thank you Anne. She works so hard with her dancing and it’s lovely to see how she’s really improving and growing with it x

  4. I’m glad you are treating yourself gently and giving yourself space. Not just the ringed dates on the calendar that mark the march of time. How lovely that Sophie is enjoying her dance and Thomas is seizing every opportunity to practise his letters. I love hearing my children in full belly laughs upstairs. Yes, to a plate of biscuits during meetings too! #wotw

    1. Thank you Cheryl. It is so lovely hearing children laugh together. I do love it hearing it with Sophie and Thomas.

  5. Bittersweet milestone. Glad Sophie’s enjoying being bck at dancing. Looks like there’s been some nice family times this week

  6. It’s good that you are being gentle with yourself especially during the milestones. Lovely to see Thomas enjoying his alphabet song and Sophie doing her dancing. The photo of them giggling together at bedtime is beautiful.

  7. Wow, that’s a milestone you’re hitting with Thomas and Sophies ages now, there’s so many things one isn’t aware of. how fun taking up a new instrument and well done Thomas with the alphabet trail. Hope hubby got the DIY finished while the rest of you were out

    1. It’s one I’ve been aware was coming up for a while – it does seem hard to believe at times that Thomas is now older than Sophie was. The DIY is coming along – mostly finished now but still a couple of things left to do.

    1. Thank you Jane, it was a tough one but we got through. Sophie’s been working really hard on her dancing – I was very impressed when I saw that pose too!

  8. Good that you are being gentle with yourself…can only imagine how hard it must be.

    The cheese scones look good, am tempted to go make some now! Such a cute photo of them giggling together.

    1. Thank you, some weeks are harder than others. I do love that photo of Sophie and Thomas giggling together.

  9. An important milestone but a sad one nonetheless. Love the happiness that radiates from your photos, especially of Sophie and Thomas together. #project365

  10. Grief milestones are always hard and I am glad that you have learned to give yourself time. Looks like you have had a productive week though

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