Friday Focus 08/11/19 – Unsettled with sunny spells

After all the excitement of show week, followed by half-term fun, the return to normal routines has left me feeling a little unsettled. That ever-present ache for Jessica has returned to the forefront again. It’s not surprising really – I’ve not had nearly so much distraction and more time to be still and think. It might sound strange, but sometimes I welcome the storm of grief when it comes. Sometimes in the storm, I feel closer to Jessica again – it’s my time to focus on Jessica and feel all the love I have for her, even if that love comes hand-in-hand with my pain at her loss.


Unsettled - this week's word of the week


There’s been a couple of changes at school in recent weeks, and another to come at the end of term, which have also left me feeling unsettled. Sophie has a new teacher this half-term which made for a rather awkward parents evening this week. We weren’t quite prepared for it to be purely a ‘meet the new teacher’ session and to not receive any feedback on how Sophie is doing at school. I think it would have been much better really to have cancelled parents’ evening for her class and rescheduled it for another time when we could have had some meaningful feedback.


We also learned this week that there’ll be another staff change for Sophie’s class later this year. I think she’ll be fine with it, but the changes mean losing the last links with Jessica’s teachers which makes me very sad. It was going to happen eventually but changes like this always feel like taking another step further away from Jessica. It’ll be okay, I’m sure, I just need to work through my feelings in the meantime.


This week aside, we’ve always been very happy with the girls’ school – they really were amazing with Jessica’s additional needs and very supportive when she died. I know that most of my struggle with the changes are because they are coloured by my grief. Sophie doesn’t seem to be too fazed by them which is the most important thing.


On the plus side though, hubby is back home again after a busy few weeks and I’m looking forward to finally getting some proper family time together again!


Things that have made me smile this week

  • Sophie helping me make her birthday cake. She helped measure and mix the ingredients and added the sprinkles and Shopkins figures on the top.


Sophie's birthday cake - a chocolate cake with the word "Sophie" in the style of the Shopkins logo in fondant on the side and sprinkles and Shopkins figures on the top


  • Spending the afternoon with friends at BRICKLIVE and bumping into one of my favourite bloggers.


Sophie and her friend sitting in a brick model of a yellow submarine


  • Sophie’s excitement at being able to celebrate her birthday with some of her school friends with a party at Jump-In.


Sophie jumping on one of the trampolines at Jump-In


  • Going to the post-show pizza evening and seeing Sophie reunited with some of her von Trapp siblings.


  • Catching up with one of our university friends who came over for dinner.


  • Thomas’s delight when the parachute came out at Tiny Talk.


Thomas underneath the coloured parachute reaching up for it


  • Reading the wonderful feedback on The Sound of Music in the NODA report. The comments about Sophie made me especially proud – “[Sophie] raised the “ah” factor to overwhelming – for a first ever performance it was amazing never faulting in song, dance or dialogue – and knowing all the words to Edelweiss as well! (There must have been a very proud Sister Sophia on stage!)” Very proud Mummy moment. I was also pleased with the feedback on my performance as well which was also very positive.


  • An after-school trip to the park where Sophie had fun making an autumn crown.


Sophie with her doll's pram, wearing an autumn crown made of leaves stuck to cardboard


Word of the Week linky

12 thoughts on “Friday Focus 08/11/19 – Unsettled with sunny spells

  1. That last photo of Sophie just brought such a big smile to my face, I love it! Quieter weeks always come as a shock to the system when you’re so used to being busy don’t they? It looks like there have been a lot of smiles to enjoy 🙂 Belated Happy Birthday to Sophie! #wotw

  2. Thomas’s expression of pure wonder is priceless, at the sight of the parachute. Joy. Sophie has such a lovely smiley face wearing her leaf crown. I’m glad the feedback on the play were so good. What a boost. I hope the school changes sort themselves out and, as you say, so long as Sophie is happy and thrives. At secondary, they change teachers mid year for tech subjects. Going into parents evenings and meeting teachers who barely know my child is common. Thank goodness the others usually stay the same. You seem to have had a lovely social week. Hope you have a wonderful family time now your husband is home. #wotw

    1. Thank you. I’m glad there’s some continuity in secondary school despite changing teachers mid-year for tech subjects. We’re settling in to having a new teacher now x

  3. I love Sophie’s cake and that she helped to make it. Boo is exactly the same, she can’t resist helping where there is a cake involved, even her own. I love all your photos, Thomas and Sophie looks so happy. I’ve been to BrickLive in the past and we enjoyed it, but I’ve heard it’s aimed at younger children now, and my girls are getting a bit big. I used to hate it when the schools changed teachers, Boo once had four teachers in one year! When I met the fourth teacher the first thing I said to him was ” I hope you are going to stick around!” He did, and she had him for two years. One parent’s evening for Star was a bit embaressing, because she’d not been at the school long and she’d lost a lot of time with her neck. Her teacher couldn’t actually recall who she was! xx

  4. I am so sorry to hear that you are feeling unsettled. I can understand wanting to get some feedback from Sophie’s teacher. Maybe the school will have another Parents’ Night later in the year? The birthday cake is amazing! It looks like it was professionally done. Your little Sophie is getting a wonderful education in baking and cake decorating from you. Wonderful review for her performance in the Sound of Music. You must be a proud mommy!

    1. Thank you, we have another parents’ evening booked now so hopefully that will be more useful! Sophie loves baking – it is lovely to have that time baking together 🙂

  5. So sorry you have felt unsettled. I think after an exciting couple of weeks you’re bound to.
    That is a shame about the parents evening. It does sound a bit pointless having a parents evening just to meet the new teacher when you could have in a few minutes before or after school. It must be so sad to lose those links to Jessica with the staff changes. 🙁
    Enjoy your family time!
    Sophie’s cake is fab. The shopkins are a lovely touch!
    It looks like a great week! Bricklive and the trampolining with some of her friends.
    Well done to Sophie with the feedback from NODA! You must be so proud.

    1. Thank you Kim, I was so proud of that report. We have another parents’ evening booked in now so hopefully we’ll hear a bit more this time about how Sophie is getting on! x

  6. I love the photos of Sophie in her crown and Thomas with the parachute, kids find joy in the simplest of things. Well done to you and Sophie on your rave reviews!

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