The end of the summer holidays and the start of the new school year is a bittersweet time. Making the most of the last few days of having Sophie and Thomas around during the day, doing fun things and enjoying the moments we have together, followed by the sadness that always comes with going back to school. I’ve always felt sad when summer comes to an end but that sadness is now heightened by grief at the milestone moments that Jessica is no longer here for.
This year she would have been due to start secondary school. Seeing photos of her friends starting their new schools was bittersweet – that mixture of wishing them well on their new adventure and the intense sadness that Jessica isn’t there with them. Another milestone moment missed.
It was also Jessica’s birthday this week. She would have turned twelve this year. We had six birthdays with her and we’ve now had six birthdays without her. Another milestone moment. I’ve learned to carry grief but the milestone moments are always intense and they don’t get any easier. Jessica is always so very much missed, but especially so this week.
What I’ve been grateful for this week:
- Day 244 – I am grateful for a fun potion-making session.
- Day 245 – I am grateful for an afternoon with Sophie trying sailing for the first time.
- Day 246 – I am grateful for a belated meal out for hubby’s birthday.
- Day 247 – I am grateful for a lovely day out at Cliveden to finish off the summer holidays. Going to miss these two when they’re back at school tomorrow.
- Day 248 – I am grateful for a quiet afternoon watching Sophie and Thomas having fun in the paddling pool after their first day back at school.
- Day 249 – I am grateful that we were able to go up to GreenAcres after school with Jessica’s birthday cake to share it together there and sing happy birthday to her. Love and miss you always my sweet girl. Happy 12th birthday. Thank you too to everyone who has remembered Jessica and had her and us in their thoughts. I’m also grateful for the love that has surrounded us today.
- Day 250 – I am grateful for Sophie spotting a sun dog on the way to ballet. I’ve enhanced the photo to make it clearer – you can see the rainbow coloured light on one side of the sun (there was another one on the opposite side but it’s hidden by the building in the photo) and the rainbow halo around the sun. Never seen one of these before – fascinating.
Other things that have made me smile this week:
- Having a water fight in the garden.
- Thomas drawing a Numberblock 12 for Jessica on her birthday and then coming out of school later that day with another birthday picture that he’d drawn for her.