Friday Focus 08/03/19 – Thankful for friends

I’ve been finding it hard to socialise recently. Grief can make other people feel uncomfortable. Talking about Jessica can sometimes be met with awkward silences, changing the subject, or well-meaning but hurtful comments. I know that it’s just that people don’t know what to say or how to react but at the moment, I just don’t have the energy to put on the mask and navigate my way through those situations. Instead, I’ve been focusing on spending time with those friends with whom I can be real and honest. The ones who still chat about Jessica as naturally as they did when she was here. Friends like these are worth their weight in gold and being with them makes the storms of grief a little easier to navigate.

 

Friends - this week's word of the week

 

Sophie has also been spending time with some special friends this week. We had a play date yesterday with Jessica’s two best friends. I am so glad that this is a friendship that still endures with Sophie. She had such a wonderful time with them and it brought back some happy memories of watching them play with Jessica too.

 

 

Things that have made me smile this week

  • A rare opportunity to have a lie-in.

 

  • An afternoon at the Roald Dahl Museum.

 

Sophie sitting in a replica of Roald Dahl's writing chair

 

  • Pancakes with thick double cream and strawberries – yum!

 

  • Thomas giving me lots of sloppy baby kisses.

 

  • Having big snuggles with Sophie.

 

  • Sophie choosing a book for World Book Day that she already had a dress-up outfit for.

 

Sophie dressed as Sleeping Beauty for World Book Day

 

  • Being given a photocopy of a picture Jessica drew a couple of years ago on the back of my notes at the chiropractor. It is always lovely to discover “new” drawings that Jessica did. I like the fact that the two people in this one both had zipper scars like hers.

 

Jessica's drawing of two people with zipper scars

 

 

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9 Comments

  1. March 8, 2019 / 8:10 am

    It sounds like you have a good bunch of friends Louise, I think people are often that worried about upsetting a grieving person that will avoid saying anything at all which is a shame. I’m very envious of your trip to the Roald Dahl museum, Jake’s teacher told me she went this weekend too they know I’m a fan even at school. How lovely of your chiropractor to give you that picture x

  2. March 8, 2019 / 8:45 am

    I’m so glad to hear you have good friends around you giving you the right support and allowing you to just be yourself! I’d love to go to the Roald Dahl museum if I can. I saw an exhibition about Quentin Blake in a museum in Liverpool recently and it was fascinating to see all of his sketches from Dahl’s stories!

  3. March 8, 2019 / 9:47 am

    I am so glad that you have the support of good friends around you. I have found that the support you get when you are grieving is often from unexpected (but much appreciated) sources.
    Hoorah for a lie in! They are an all to rare occurrence. #wotw

  4. March 8, 2019 / 11:11 am

    The support of good friends is priceless. Sophie looks adorable as Sleeping Beauty and I love Jessica’s picture. Thanks for linking up to #wotw xx

  5. March 8, 2019 / 12:32 pm

    It sounds like you have some wonderful friends. They are just what you need.
    That is lovely that Jessica’s two best friends had a play date with Sophie.
    Aww! I saw a video of Thomas giving you sloppy kisses somewhere and he is just adorable. x

  6. March 9, 2019 / 9:41 am

    I’d love to go to the Roald Dahl museum. Must make a big effort this summer. Good friends are priceless. So true that those that shy away, often are the hardest to be around. Like dancing around the subject. I’m glad you have good friends. How lovely the Sophie had time with special friends too. Isn’t Jessica’s picture fascinating? She was working through the concept of surgery in her own way. People like her. Sloppy baby kisses are the best. Hope you have a good week, full of good friends. #wotw

  7. March 9, 2019 / 7:14 pm

    Ah I am so sorry Louise, I cant imagine how hard it is, I know people mean well, I would most likely say the wrong things too but with the intention of wanting to make you feel better, but unless you are in your position you cant begin to put yourself in the place of you and your family. I hope socialising starts to get better for you all it must be so hard, the drawing is beautiful it must be wonderful to get a little piece of Jessica x

  8. March 9, 2019 / 9:50 pm

    It is very difficult for people to know what to say and how to act, but quite right you still want to talk about her, she will always be part of your family.
    Nice you have some friends you can still connect with.
    Good choice of story and she looks fab in the dress.
    #wotw

  9. March 10, 2019 / 12:25 pm

    Good friends are everything 🙂
    Such a relief when they pick a character they already have a costume for!

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