I’ve been finding it hard to socialise recently. Grief can make other people feel uncomfortable. Talking about Jessica can sometimes be met with awkward silences, changing the subject, or well-meaning but hurtful comments. I know that it’s just that people don’t know what to say or how to react but at the moment, I just don’t have the energy to put on the mask and navigate my way through those situations. Instead, I’ve been focusing on spending time with those friends with whom I can be real and honest. The ones who still chat about Jessica as naturally as they did when she was here. Friends like these are worth their weight in gold and being with them makes the storms of grief a little easier to navigate.
Sophie has also been spending time with some special friends this week. We had a play date yesterday with Jessica’s two best friends. I am so glad that this is a friendship that still endures with Sophie. She had such a wonderful time with them and it brought back some happy memories of watching them play with Jessica too.
Things that have made me smile this week
- A rare opportunity to have a lie-in.
- An afternoon at the Roald Dahl Museum.
- Pancakes with thick double cream and strawberries – yum!
- Thomas giving me lots of sloppy baby kisses.
- Having big snuggles with Sophie.
- Sophie choosing a book for World Book Day that she already had a dress-up outfit for.
- Being given a photocopy of a picture Jessica drew a couple of years ago on the back of my notes at the chiropractor. It is always lovely to discover “new” drawings that Jessica did. I like the fact that the two people in this one both had zipper scars like hers.