I am tired this week. So tired. Thomas is waking multiple times a night at the moment. I think it might be due to teething given we are getting through a lot of dribble bibs at the moment! He seems happy enough during the day though. Hubby has been working long hours again, so I’m pretty much flying solo at the moment as well.
Everything is harder when you’re tired. Grief especially. I’m tired of having to live my life without Jessica; tired of being on the wrong side of life with her and knowing that this is my reality for the rest of my life. I miss my big girl so much. I try to be positive a lot of the time but sometimes I get tired of that too. Tired of putting on a mask, of trying to keep going when daily life feels like wading through treacle. I’m in the storm right now. I know it will ease off again and become a little more bearable at some point, but right now it’s hard.
Things that have made me smile this week
- Watching Thomas splashing away and enjoying his first time in the paddling pool.
- Catching up with my family at a surprise birthday meal for my brother-in-law.
- Sophie spotting lots of mini-beasts on a guided nature walk.
- Going on a church day out to Hughenden Manor.
Tiredness makes everything seem worse, it wears you out and that’s when all the other emotions go into overdrive. With Thomas, it’s probably just a phase he’s going through, a cliche I know, but it’s so true with babies. I hope you have a nice relaxing weekend and that you are feeling less tired next week. Thanks for linking up to #wotw xxx
Grief and tiredness are not a good combination. No wonder you feel in the storm. I’m sure you’re probably right about teething. Not so much a rain dance required as a tooth eruption dance. Hurry up teeth! The paddling pool first session looks like it went down well and I love mini beast walks. Hope next week gives you a chance to catch up on some well deserved rest. #wotw
I am so sorry to hear that you feel like this. I so hope that you can catch up on some sleep and get some self care in for you. #wotw
Oh no! Poor you and Thomas. Everything does seem much harder when you are tired. Sending hugs.
Aww! It looks like Thomas and Sophie were having a fab time in the paddling pool. x
I can’t imagine what your grief feels like, I wish I could say something to help, just know we are thinking of you. That picture of your youngest, in the pool, is such a thing of joy! They both look like they are having a fantastic time xx
I am so sorry to read about you being tired. I can remember how tired I was when my children were little. I think you did the exactly correct remedy for tiredness – you counted your blessings. You named things you are thankful for. I am hoping your word next week is a happier one. Sending trans-Atlantic hugs!
Oh gosh it is so much more difficult when you are tired and get woken up load of time during the night. I hope you get some well earned rest and take it easy X #wotw
Such a tough combination to handle … tied and grieving. At least there is the (very small) consolation that this tiredness will pass, as Thomas settles. I hope it has helped you to express yourself truthfully here. #WotW
Louise I am so so sorry you are feeling this way, I bet it never goes away but some waves are worse that the others. I hope there are some moments of peace in there for you. I saw your post about the little hand the other day, I am sure that was Jessica sending you reassurance x