I am tired this week. So tired. Thomas is waking multiple times a night at the moment. I think it might be due to teething given we are getting through a lot of dribble bibs at the moment! He seems happy enough during the day though. Hubby has been working long hours again, so I’m pretty much flying solo at the moment as well.
Everything is harder when you’re tired. Grief especially. I’m tired of having to live my life without Jessica; tired of being on the wrong side of life with her and knowing that this is my reality for the rest of my life. I miss my big girl so much. I try to be positive a lot of the time but sometimes I get tired of that too. Tired of putting on a mask, of trying to keep going when daily life feels like wading through treacle. I’m in the storm right now. I know it will ease off again and become a little more bearable at some point, but right now it’s hard.
Things that have made me smile this week
- Watching Thomas splashing away and enjoying his first time in the paddling pool.
- Catching up with my family at a surprise birthday meal for my brother-in-law.
- Sophie spotting lots of mini-beasts on a guided nature walk.
- Going on a church day out to Hughenden Manor.